Trust and faith in the Lord

From Sandy -
I have 11 days until my surgery. I have to admit that sometimes I get so scared as the time passes so quickly. I want to get this over with and yet I think I could wait forever to have this surgery done. I still battle with these two feelings. I keep reading daily scripture and praying on my hands and knees for the Lord to be with me during this time. I have talked to two people that have had this procedure done and they are fine. I know that the Lord brought these people to me. I think what scares me the most is the fear of the unknown. I fear having my body cut into and losing an important part of my body. I fear pain and all that goes with it. I fear the day I walk into the hospital and they put me on a guerney and wheel me into surgery. I fear being at home during recovery and not being able to do things I normally would do for a while.

I am admitting these fears to you and to my Lord and Savior. He knows that I struggle every day with these fears and He provides me with the peace and comfort to get through the day. I have written before that the mornings when I first wake up are the hardest for me. I wake up with all the fears I mentioned in the previous paragraph. I have to literally get down on my hands and knees and pray for the peace and hope and faith to get me through the day. I've never had surgery before and I don't really like hospitals. I have to trust in God to be there with me and hold my hand. Sometimes I look at all these fears as being so self-centered. It's me, me, me all the time. I know I should always be looking up instead of looking down. When David wrote the book of Psalms, he went through so many experiences that I have gone through. God forgives us for our weaknesses and I know He will be there to see me through this "event" in my life.

I appreciate all the prayers. The Lord loves for us to come to Him in prayer and believe me He hears alot from me lately. Please continue to pray for Susan and Gene. The last I heard Gene was in ICU. Susan has a strong relationship with the Lord and I know He is her strength.

I know there are others here that need prayer. I'm new to this so I'm not sure how Susan gets names of people who need prayer or even how you can respond back to someone who has replied to my posts. We just need to pray for everyone here and trust the Lord to see us through the hard times in life.

Here is a prayer to live by - the prayer is not mine, it is from the book "Why me, God" written by Randy Petersen.

"Dear Lord, You know me, inside and out. You know how I'm dealing with this difficulty. You know what I'm doing right and wrong. You know my doubts and questions. You know the extent of my fragile faith.

When I cry myself to sleep, I know you hear me. When I lash out at others because of my own pain, I know you're there, too. And when I kneel before you in repentance and humility, I know you welcome me.

You promised life eternal, overflowing. That's what I want. Is there some way to bring me through these troubles in a way that brims with living? I must admit that sometimes I feel half-dead, but I need your energy flowing through me, your Spirit awakening my spirit. Let me radiate you presence to those around me. Let them see you living in me.

This I pray, in my struggling trust, clinging to the name of Jesus. Amen."