Prayers needed

Psalm 118:8 is meeting me head on tonight. Ron is back in the hospital with possibly pneumonia and a bowel blockage. He is not doing well and as of this minute, I am not sure what is going to be done for him. He has definitely had another setback.

I keep remembering Psalm 118:8... It is better to trust in the Lord than put your confidence in man

I am back to questioning why this is happening to Ron for yet another time. However, I know that the Lord is with Ron and I do trust the Lord. The Lord is my strength and song. I have to trust the Lord right now with all my heart and soul. No - I don't understand this. I may never understand why this keeps happening to Ron. However, I will continue to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding.

Psalm 130:5 I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope

Psalm 130:5 is what I am clinging to - I am waiting and in His wonderful word I have hope.

I am asking for prayers on behalf of Ron. He has fought so hard and comes so close to recovering and then another setback. He's a good man and he doesn't deserve this suffering - I am asking everyone who reads this blog to pray for my husband Ron. My prayer "still" is for him to get better and come home. I love Ron and so does the Lord. I pray that Jesus will send out His divine healing to Ron. I so want Ron to enjoy life here in his home. But just as Jesus prayed when he was alone in the garden of Gethsemane - not my will but Our Heavenly Father's be done!

Psalm 118:8

Psalm 118:8 "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man"

This verse was brought to my attention through an e-mail from a friend. When I read it at first I simply understood that the Lord is more powerful than man and it is better to trust him than to trust anything that man can do.

However, as I dwelt on this verse I realize that it means something in the lives of Ron and me. During the past 14 months of Ron's illness I cannot count the number of times that nurses and doctors told me to take Ron off of all life support and just allow him to be made comfortable so he could pass in peace. They all said there was nothing else they could do and that Ron's quality of life would be next to nothing. I had meetings with these professionals as they were trying to convince me to let Ron die peacefully. But - the Lord had convicted me many times during Ron's illness that he would not die. The Lord came through one morning in a very direct thought that told me God would save Ron's life to save his soul. I told the doctors and nurses this as they were trying to convince me to stop all efforts in saving his life. They didn't seem to hear me and acted as if I was not facing reality. I have to admit I was swayed back and forth over this - but one fact comes through. God's word and God's healing never swayed and never depended upon anything that these medical professionals could do. The Lord has been with Ron throughout his illness and recovery. Although it has been a roller coaster ride I would never want to take again, Ron is so much better right now. I know in my heart that Ron will get well enough and strong enough to come home. This is our dream - for him to come home. He will have quality in his life and his life will be worth living. The Lord is in charge and calls the shots - not me or all the medical "brainiacs" in the world.

I am still learning to trust the Lord. Sometimes I look at the world through man's eye - but it's when I can see through the Lord's eyes and listen to his quiet voice that I know He has been there all along guiding and loving me through the trials and tribulations. The Lord never lets me down - He didn't promise me a rose garden, but He did promise me love and that's beautiful beyond comprehension - at least for me.

How great is our God. He is indeed a mystery, but He continues to unravel his plans for us if we just trust and listen to His soft spoken messages.

The complainer that I am

I love this verse - Phlippians 2:14-15. I find myself doing lots of complaining about my "problems". The Lord didn't allow me to have these problems so that I could complain about them night and day. He allowed me to have these problems so that I might grow and see Him in the solution of these problems.

To quote from Larry Jones - The brightest victories hide in the darkest places

I tend to gripe and complain about many things. It is certainly not one of my virtues. However, I do know that the Lord allows us to suffer consequences and deal with problems so that we can be the shining star in a world of suffering and hopelessness. We can be the cure for suffering and hopelessness. There is no such word as "hopeless" in the Christian faith. As long as we have Jesus, we have hope, we have salvation, we have eternal life, we have a fortress, a tower of strength, a refuge from the storm.

I can't tell you how many times I have forgotten what Jesus can do for me in the midst of my distresses. I run around in circles, when all I have to do is seek the Lord in prayer and present to Him the problems and crises that are haunting me.

The Lord goes before us and knows what we will have to face. He is prepared to give us the strength, faith and fortitude to get through the storms in our lives. If we never suffered or longed for something, what kind of growth would that be? How strong would we be if we never had to work and strive to be better - to beat down our enemies? The Lord has been giving me quite a workout these past two years. I do feel stronger, my faith has grown, and I know the Lord has been with me throughout all the turmoil and strife. I'm still not "there" yet. He continues to teach me and show me His love and mercy. I feel like I can be a light in this world - maybe giving off only the brightness of a lighted match, but a lit match does give off some light.

I have my weak moments and go backward sometimes. I Let Go and Let God and then grab things back because I think God is taking way too long. I guess this life of mine is one of trial and error, but I do know one thing for sure - the Lord loves me and forgives me and allows me to try again!!!

Another Trial

I would like to ask everyone who reads this blog to pray for my daughter. She broke up this week with her boyfriend of eight years and I'm afraid she's seeing a "very" wrong person that will only ruin her life. She is not telling the truth and is hiding things from me. I don't know where she goes or who she is with. I love her so much and feel in my heart that she is headed down the wrong path. She is a juvenile diabetic and I have always worried about that since she was 10 years old. Now she is sneaking around, not going to church, lying to me, and screwing up her life. She's also drinking too much which is a concern all by itself.

I know the Lord listens to our prayers and I would so appreciate prayers for my daughter. She is a wonderful person, but there's such a difference in her right now. She has deeply hurt her boyfriend and she's hurt me as well. Please keep her in your prayers.

It seems that the Lord is putting alot of pressure on me. When it comes to my children, I can barely take it. I know the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, but with this thing about my daughter, I feel like I am losing it. I will continue to seek the Lord and ask for His help for both myself, Ron and my daughter. He hears me and He will save my daughter from destruction.

I'd like to quote this from Streams in the Desert -

"For I will yet praise him" (Ps. 43:5) More prayer, more exercising of our faith, and more patient waiting leads to blessings - abundant blessings. I have found it to be true many hundreds of times, and therefore I continually say to myself, "Put your hope in God." George Mueller

The Lord - He it is that doth go before thee

God is such a mystery. He knows the beginning and the end of our lives and yet he leaves the choices in life up to us. He goes before us - He knows where the path we are on will lead and I know that there are times in life when He intercedes for us. He has saved me from many a disaster in my life and He has covered me with His grace and truth. I know Him and yet I don't know Him. He is a wonderful and majestic mystery that follows me all the days of my life. He has given us His only son to show just how much He loves us. Jesus Christ is God's pure love and forgiveness. In one man, the Lord God Almighty provided us with mercy, grace and truth and unconditional love. When I stop to think about how much the Lord loves me, it is an amazing miracle. The love He has for me and all of us is nothing short of a miracle. I am so human and sometimes so selfish and judgmental and yet He loves even me. My body is not whole, I am getting older and can't do what I used to do and yet He still loves me. He provides me with guidance when I am willing to be led. He provides me with wisdom when I am willing to accept His wisdom. He has never failed me nor forsaken me in spite of my sinful nature. I can't sometimes comprehend how great and wonderful He is - how small and insignificant I am - and yet He still loves me!!

The Lord went before Ron and I during a terrible time of uncertainty, sickness, even threats to our having a home and an income to live on. I have felt His guiding hand throughout the months of distress and uncertainty. The Lord does go before us and provides the help we need in our desperation and weakness. I have felt His guiding hand and heard His gentle voice revealing to me the path ahead and telling me of promises not yet fulfilled. I am truly His and He is mine.

What a friend we have in Jesus - all our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

Just for today

Things are actually looking a little bit better today. Ron is doing well. They have introduced food to him and he got to drink a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice. He is down to 121 pounds so he really needs to put some weight back on in a big way. He is able to do some exercises and is able to work the controller to the t.v. so he can watch his favorite t.v. show - American Idol. He looks good and seems to be feeling better. I am also very happy with the way Inland Valley Rehab. has taken care of him. They are there 24/7 to meet his needs when he presses the nurse button. They keep him clean and his room clean. So today, I am feeling pretty good about Ron's chances of coming home once again. Of course, it's always in the Lord's hands and His will to be done, but I can't help but think God's will is to bring Ron home.

I am also feeling better. My knee is still red and a little swollen, but I can do everything with it except bend on my knee and put weight on it. The light headedness and lack of energy that I was experiencing are gone and I no longer have that terrible taste in my mouth or an extreme thirst. It's nice to be able to say today that things are all right and maybe even more than a little all right.

This just goes to show me that the Lord moves in His own time. He is not as rushed as we are to get things done and He sees the whole picture, whereas we only have a very narrow view. He takes care of many things for us instead of the one small item that we so desperately want fixed.

From inside the fish Jonah prayed... "In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From the depths of the grave I called for help, and you listened to my cry." —Jonah 2:1-2

How true is this verse - the Lord has always heard me in my distress and He has always been there to help. Great is His faithfulness!!!