Monday, March 28, 2011
Shedding tears
From Sandy - Ron was so fearful when he left Reche Canyon and was taken back to Kaiser Hospital. However, once he got to the hospital, he seemed like a changed man. He wanted to read the newspaper, he was watching a basketball game on t..v. and he wanted to eat. Again, another high on the roller coaster called "Ron's Illness". However (and you should know this was coming) the past three days have not gone very well. He was being weaned once again off of the ventilator and was doing well the first and second day - the past three days he has not been able to breathe without his heart rate going up and taking way too many breaths per minute. He has been put back on full control by the ventilator. He is majorly depressed and cries every time I have gone to see him. If he isn't crying, he's upset with me because I tell him to "hang tough" - I have used many ways of expressing this, but virtually I am telling him to be strong and fight for recovery. It has broken my heart to see him cry. I don't know what to do for him and I feel absolutely helpless at these times. I want to make it better for him and I can't. I would bring him home in a minute if I knew that would work. But, he has way too many issues right now to be brought home. I can't believe this has happened to us. I can't believe that Ron's heart attack set him back so far. It all hurts and is so painful for me to see. I know Ron is despairing when he has these setbacks. All I can do is pray and pray and pray. I pray unceasingly for the Lord to help Ron in whatever way He sees fit. Yesterday and today I cried with Ron. Life is painful right now and the light at the end of the tunnel is very far away. I prayed with Ron today and asked the Lord to comfort Ron and grant him His peace that passes all understanding. Prayer can do wonderful things - I will not give up. I am only human and cannot see the future or know what it holds. But the Lord is in the past, present and future. He will be with us out there in the future I know this with all my heart and soul. This too shall pass. I have to ask the Lord to strengthen me because Ron's tears are tearing me apart. I want so much to make it better for Ron. Again, I will pray and pray and pray.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
When God delays
From Sandy -
I've never been one to have much in the way of patience. I always wanted Christmas to come right now - I wanted my birthday to come right now. In fact, I would have changed the date by a month or so when I was a child if I could have gotten to my birthday sooner. I hate waiting. I hate waiting at a red light or waiting in line. Patience is not my virture.
However, this waiting and the patience it requires while Ron is convalescing is the worst. I want Ron to get better now - I want to know when this waiting and agonizing will be over. I want health, peace and calm in our lives NOW.
God made Moses wait 40 years for the Promised Land. Job suffered miserably and waited for God. The most difficult ingredient of suffering to me is time. When a sorrow drags on, returning day after day with the same dull routine of hopeless despair, the heart loses strength. However as a reminder to myself and this entire world, God is still seated on His throne. Because of this assurance, we can calmly wait for the time when in joy and thanksgiving we will say "All things have worked together for good".
The Lord is with us and goes before us. He will not leave us nor forsake us - because of this promise I will fear not neither be dismayed. I will try to remember not to steal tomorrow from God's hands. I need to give Him the time to speak to me and reveal His will. He is never late - I must learn to wait.
Now what I have written above sounds so great - and easy. Trust me - it is not that easy for me. I know there is definite truth and wisdom in what I have addressed above, but when it comes to my own personal life - it's a process of leaning on the Lord and sometimes totally letting go of any thing I think I can do and letting the Lord take over. I believe this is called surrendering. To trust the Lord enough to let Him have the trials and then take His hand as he leads and guides.
It's all about trusting and believing in the Lord. I do believe His word and I do know that He loves even someone so insignificant as myself. He's told me He will help, He will heal, He will bless, He will bring peace and joy - "I know that He is able to do that which I've committed onto Him against this day".
I've never been one to have much in the way of patience. I always wanted Christmas to come right now - I wanted my birthday to come right now. In fact, I would have changed the date by a month or so when I was a child if I could have gotten to my birthday sooner. I hate waiting. I hate waiting at a red light or waiting in line. Patience is not my virture.
However, this waiting and the patience it requires while Ron is convalescing is the worst. I want Ron to get better now - I want to know when this waiting and agonizing will be over. I want health, peace and calm in our lives NOW.
God made Moses wait 40 years for the Promised Land. Job suffered miserably and waited for God. The most difficult ingredient of suffering to me is time. When a sorrow drags on, returning day after day with the same dull routine of hopeless despair, the heart loses strength. However as a reminder to myself and this entire world, God is still seated on His throne. Because of this assurance, we can calmly wait for the time when in joy and thanksgiving we will say "All things have worked together for good".
The Lord is with us and goes before us. He will not leave us nor forsake us - because of this promise I will fear not neither be dismayed. I will try to remember not to steal tomorrow from God's hands. I need to give Him the time to speak to me and reveal His will. He is never late - I must learn to wait.
Now what I have written above sounds so great - and easy. Trust me - it is not that easy for me. I know there is definite truth and wisdom in what I have addressed above, but when it comes to my own personal life - it's a process of leaning on the Lord and sometimes totally letting go of any thing I think I can do and letting the Lord take over. I believe this is called surrendering. To trust the Lord enough to let Him have the trials and then take His hand as he leads and guides.
It's all about trusting and believing in the Lord. I do believe His word and I do know that He loves even someone so insignificant as myself. He's told me He will help, He will heal, He will bless, He will bring peace and joy - "I know that He is able to do that which I've committed onto Him against this day".
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Another trip to the hospital
From Sandy -
I went to Reche Canyon Rehab. Center today thinking that all would be well with Ron. When I got there I found out that he was being transferred back to Kaiser hospital. His red blood cell count was too low and they found blood in his stool. Not to mention another bout of pneumonia.
Sometimes I find that I am very weak. After hearing this news and seeing how scared and disappointed Ron was - I just sat in a corner, hung my head down and shed some tears. Honestly, I wonder at times why the Lord puts us through so many trials. I wonder why this roller coaster ride is going on and on and on. I identify so much with Job at times like this. He went through so much and yet he always loved the Lord.
Job 42 vs. 1-3 Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not, things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
Not sure how anyone interprets this verse, but to me it says that Job knew God can do everything and none of our thoughts are secret to the Lord. We don't always understand things that happen to us or our loved ones, but the Lord does wonderful things for us which we would never think of. I may get impatient with God, but He knows what is best - I do believe this.
I will meditate upon these verses. Job was tested and lost everything, yet the Lord blessed him more at the end than at the beginning.
I don't understand what is going on right now in the lives of myself and Ron. I do sometimes feel
that the Lord is taking too long or not even listening. Especially today I'm afraid I felt like throwing in the towel. How long will these trials last? What will happen next? When will Ron get to come home? However - I love the Lord with all my heart and soul and know that He is there for both myself and Ron. It just becomes hard sometimes and I know that if Job were here today and I could talk to him, he would understand. I know that the Lord understands too. Jesus suffered so much before his short life here on earth ended. He knows me and my every thought; and being God's Son, even He was not spared horrible trials - I just want Jesus to walk with me!!!
I went to Reche Canyon Rehab. Center today thinking that all would be well with Ron. When I got there I found out that he was being transferred back to Kaiser hospital. His red blood cell count was too low and they found blood in his stool. Not to mention another bout of pneumonia.
Sometimes I find that I am very weak. After hearing this news and seeing how scared and disappointed Ron was - I just sat in a corner, hung my head down and shed some tears. Honestly, I wonder at times why the Lord puts us through so many trials. I wonder why this roller coaster ride is going on and on and on. I identify so much with Job at times like this. He went through so much and yet he always loved the Lord.
Job 42 vs. 1-3 Then Job answered the Lord, and said, I know that thou canst do everything, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not, things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.
Not sure how anyone interprets this verse, but to me it says that Job knew God can do everything and none of our thoughts are secret to the Lord. We don't always understand things that happen to us or our loved ones, but the Lord does wonderful things for us which we would never think of. I may get impatient with God, but He knows what is best - I do believe this.
I will meditate upon these verses. Job was tested and lost everything, yet the Lord blessed him more at the end than at the beginning.
I don't understand what is going on right now in the lives of myself and Ron. I do sometimes feel
that the Lord is taking too long or not even listening. Especially today I'm afraid I felt like throwing in the towel. How long will these trials last? What will happen next? When will Ron get to come home? However - I love the Lord with all my heart and soul and know that He is there for both myself and Ron. It just becomes hard sometimes and I know that if Job were here today and I could talk to him, he would understand. I know that the Lord understands too. Jesus suffered so much before his short life here on earth ended. He knows me and my every thought; and being God's Son, even He was not spared horrible trials - I just want Jesus to walk with me!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Put your hope in God
From Sandy-
Went to see Ron today. I knew something was wrong yesterday when I saw him because he was breathing rapidly and heavily. Today we found out he has pneumonia again - also his red blood cell count was low and there was talk of taking him back to the hospital for a blood transfusion.
He got so scared hearing these things because he is really trying and wanting to get better. I have shared my faith with him, but he doesn't say much - He does tell me he prays. I wish I could take his fear away, but just maybe the Lord is using these fears to get Ron's attention. I honestly don't know where Ron stands in his faith. I know he believes in God - I can only hope that he knows how much the Lord loves and cares for him. And, can help him get better if only Ron asks.
He is sitting up and exercising his legs and eating some things by mouth. He really wants to come home and I really want him to come home.
They got right on the pneumonia and started giving him Cipro (I think that's what it is called) - a very strong antibiotic. He is so prone to pneumonia because of the trach in his throat. They took another blood test and his red blood cell count was back to normal. So - tonight he gets to stay at the rehab. center. They will do another blood test tomorrow morning and see how he is doing. I am so happy with Reche Canyon Rehab. Center. The nurses and the doctor are so good to Ron. He is very well taken care of. Plus - he has a wonderful roommate named Jerry. Jerry came down with West Nile virus last summer and still cannot move his arms or legs very well. However he is off the ventilator and is Ron's voice when we are not there. What a blessing Jerry has been. When Ron needs anything he claps his hands and Jerry gets the nurse for him.
I know Ron is making progress even with the pneumonia. This morning he asked to be wheeled into the lobby where there is a giant aquarium and he actually read the newspaper sitting by the aquarium. This encourages me so much. I think Ron's interest in life is coming back and I know this will make him stronger in every way.
I have definitely prayed my heart out for Ron's recovery and for his roommate Jerry to be able to go home. I have every reason to believe and hope in my heart that they will both get to go home. The Lord hears all of our prayers and although it may seem like a long process to me - the Lord sees it in His time, not ours.
Psalm 138 vs.8 The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me; thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever.
Went to see Ron today. I knew something was wrong yesterday when I saw him because he was breathing rapidly and heavily. Today we found out he has pneumonia again - also his red blood cell count was low and there was talk of taking him back to the hospital for a blood transfusion.
He got so scared hearing these things because he is really trying and wanting to get better. I have shared my faith with him, but he doesn't say much - He does tell me he prays. I wish I could take his fear away, but just maybe the Lord is using these fears to get Ron's attention. I honestly don't know where Ron stands in his faith. I know he believes in God - I can only hope that he knows how much the Lord loves and cares for him. And, can help him get better if only Ron asks.
He is sitting up and exercising his legs and eating some things by mouth. He really wants to come home and I really want him to come home.
They got right on the pneumonia and started giving him Cipro (I think that's what it is called) - a very strong antibiotic. He is so prone to pneumonia because of the trach in his throat. They took another blood test and his red blood cell count was back to normal. So - tonight he gets to stay at the rehab. center. They will do another blood test tomorrow morning and see how he is doing. I am so happy with Reche Canyon Rehab. Center. The nurses and the doctor are so good to Ron. He is very well taken care of. Plus - he has a wonderful roommate named Jerry. Jerry came down with West Nile virus last summer and still cannot move his arms or legs very well. However he is off the ventilator and is Ron's voice when we are not there. What a blessing Jerry has been. When Ron needs anything he claps his hands and Jerry gets the nurse for him.
I know Ron is making progress even with the pneumonia. This morning he asked to be wheeled into the lobby where there is a giant aquarium and he actually read the newspaper sitting by the aquarium. This encourages me so much. I think Ron's interest in life is coming back and I know this will make him stronger in every way.
I have definitely prayed my heart out for Ron's recovery and for his roommate Jerry to be able to go home. I have every reason to believe and hope in my heart that they will both get to go home. The Lord hears all of our prayers and although it may seem like a long process to me - the Lord sees it in His time, not ours.
Psalm 138 vs.8 The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me; thy mercy, O Lord, endureth forever.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Faith is not believing that God can, it is knowing that God will
From Sandy -
I went to the attorney day before yesterday and paid $10,000 for his assistance in applying for MediCal. I am afraid I went in trembling and broke down and cried. It was traumatic for me to see our money go so quickly for this dire need that we have found ourselves in. The day before that - last Tuesday - I wrote a check for $2662 for income taxes that we owe. I have never had to worry about finances. My husband Ron always took care of everything. Now I find that I have everything in my lap so to speak.
I have been praying for the Lord to hold my hand and lead me during this time of stress and anxiety. I seek his wisdom and ask for it on a daily basis. Yesterday I spent hours getting paperwork together and invoices for the attorney. Thank the Good Lord I was able to find everything I needed (which was alot) and take it to the attorney. They are so nice in that office and immediately I felt stress falling off of me. Everything is in the attorney's hands and he will file for MediCal for Ron and I. The Lord is blessing me throughout this process because I went away from the office feeling much relieved and thanking God for His hand in all of this.
I know that $10,000 is alot of money (at least for me). But I have to stress that it is only money and you can't take it with you. The Lord made it possible for us to have this money saved up and it was for a rainy day - the rainy day is here and the money was there for us to use.
Ron is progressing. Today he is going to try to eat lunch (for the first time since in the hospital). He has been fed by a Gtube in his stomach. He is actually doing exercises for his legs and he uses a device to exercise his lungs. He wasn't trying for the longest time and now he is definitely making an attempt to get better. This in itself is a prayer answered by God.
I just want to sum this all up by saying that we all know that God can do things - we have to exercise our faith and know that God will do these things for us. We may have to be very very patient, but God does answer and we can definitely believe that God will take care of our stresses and anxieties - we just have to ask in prayer for His devine help and know that He definitely will be there for us. He may not do things the way we want them done - but His ways are so much higher than ours and He does go before us so He knows what is out there and can take care of it before harm is done.
He will silently plan for us - wait on the faithfulness of God.
Just a footnote to say getting these feelings out here in words helps me. I read them and it strengthens my faith knowing how God continues to be my strength and my shield.
I went to the attorney day before yesterday and paid $10,000 for his assistance in applying for MediCal. I am afraid I went in trembling and broke down and cried. It was traumatic for me to see our money go so quickly for this dire need that we have found ourselves in. The day before that - last Tuesday - I wrote a check for $2662 for income taxes that we owe. I have never had to worry about finances. My husband Ron always took care of everything. Now I find that I have everything in my lap so to speak.
I have been praying for the Lord to hold my hand and lead me during this time of stress and anxiety. I seek his wisdom and ask for it on a daily basis. Yesterday I spent hours getting paperwork together and invoices for the attorney. Thank the Good Lord I was able to find everything I needed (which was alot) and take it to the attorney. They are so nice in that office and immediately I felt stress falling off of me. Everything is in the attorney's hands and he will file for MediCal for Ron and I. The Lord is blessing me throughout this process because I went away from the office feeling much relieved and thanking God for His hand in all of this.
I know that $10,000 is alot of money (at least for me). But I have to stress that it is only money and you can't take it with you. The Lord made it possible for us to have this money saved up and it was for a rainy day - the rainy day is here and the money was there for us to use.
Ron is progressing. Today he is going to try to eat lunch (for the first time since in the hospital). He has been fed by a Gtube in his stomach. He is actually doing exercises for his legs and he uses a device to exercise his lungs. He wasn't trying for the longest time and now he is definitely making an attempt to get better. This in itself is a prayer answered by God.
I just want to sum this all up by saying that we all know that God can do things - we have to exercise our faith and know that God will do these things for us. We may have to be very very patient, but God does answer and we can definitely believe that God will take care of our stresses and anxieties - we just have to ask in prayer for His devine help and know that He definitely will be there for us. He may not do things the way we want them done - but His ways are so much higher than ours and He does go before us so He knows what is out there and can take care of it before harm is done.
He will silently plan for us - wait on the faithfulness of God.
Just a footnote to say getting these feelings out here in words helps me. I read them and it strengthens my faith knowing how God continues to be my strength and my shield.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Faith - Patience - Hope
From Sandy -
I have had to lean so heavily on the Lord lately. I have to admit I am scared and anxious right now about tomorrow. My faith has grown - but I still have to grow even stronger in my trust and faith of God.
I go to see the attorney tomorrow regarding MediCal - which I will have to file for in order to be able to keep Ron in Rehab at Reche Canyon. MediCal is a scary thing because once I file - my possessions and earnings are not my own - they will belong to the state of California. We have always paid our bills and never expected any handouts. Yet - here we are expecting a handout from the great state of California to keep Ron in Rehab over the first 100 days (of which my medical insurance and medicare will pay). Life is a funny thing - you never know where it will lead you. Never in a million years would I have pictured Ron and I in this predicament. Yet - here we are.
I know that Ron will come home. I know that the Lord is mending Ron even as I write this post. I know that the Lord loves Ron and knows him from the inside out. He is Ron's creator and He can heal Ron completely. I have had to turn Ron over to the Lord. I can be a control freak sometimes and think that I can fix everything. I cannot fix Ron. That is between God and Ron. I can ask the Lord to heal Ron which I have done a multitude of times each and every day. Throughout all of this - my surgery and Ron's recovery - I have had to have patience, knowing that faith and hope in the Lord God Almighty will bring results in His time and they will be miraculous indeed!
I am being blessed more and more each day as I come to know the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost in a very personal and life changing way. Nothing matters more than knowing that the Lord is my Savior and He loves me and all of us more than we can ever know!!!
I have had to lean so heavily on the Lord lately. I have to admit I am scared and anxious right now about tomorrow. My faith has grown - but I still have to grow even stronger in my trust and faith of God.
I go to see the attorney tomorrow regarding MediCal - which I will have to file for in order to be able to keep Ron in Rehab at Reche Canyon. MediCal is a scary thing because once I file - my possessions and earnings are not my own - they will belong to the state of California. We have always paid our bills and never expected any handouts. Yet - here we are expecting a handout from the great state of California to keep Ron in Rehab over the first 100 days (of which my medical insurance and medicare will pay). Life is a funny thing - you never know where it will lead you. Never in a million years would I have pictured Ron and I in this predicament. Yet - here we are.
I know that Ron will come home. I know that the Lord is mending Ron even as I write this post. I know that the Lord loves Ron and knows him from the inside out. He is Ron's creator and He can heal Ron completely. I have had to turn Ron over to the Lord. I can be a control freak sometimes and think that I can fix everything. I cannot fix Ron. That is between God and Ron. I can ask the Lord to heal Ron which I have done a multitude of times each and every day. Throughout all of this - my surgery and Ron's recovery - I have had to have patience, knowing that faith and hope in the Lord God Almighty will bring results in His time and they will be miraculous indeed!
I am being blessed more and more each day as I come to know the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost in a very personal and life changing way. Nothing matters more than knowing that the Lord is my Savior and He loves me and all of us more than we can ever know!!!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Lord maketh the storm a calm
From Sandy -
I feel like I have experienced several storms over the past 13 months. However, I am still here - healthy and well - and leaning forever on the Lord.
I was thumbing through my Bible and came upon these verses in the book of Psalms (which I do love). Psalm 107, vs. 27-29 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end. Then, they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Wow - these verses in the book of Psalms reached right out and grabbed me. I have literally reeled to and fro and staggered - I have been at my wit's end more than once. I too have cried unto the Lord in my trouble - He has brought me out of so many distresses. Even now He calms the storm for me and quiets the fears and anxieties.
I am still trusting the Lord to heal Ron. Ron is still on the respirator and feeding tube. However, he has passed the swallowing test so he will begin to be introduced to food by mouth. He has gotten stronger in his legs and today took 50 steps with the help of the physical therapist. I am constantly asking Jesus to be Ron's respirator instead of the machine. I have actually pictured myself bowed down at the feet of Jesus - touching his robe and asking him to touch and heal Ron.
I also have asked for the Lord's wisdom and guidance as I have to make so many financial decisions by myself. I will have to file for Medi Cal - Ron's bill for staying in the Rehab. center is $20,000 a month. I'm afraid we just can't afford that. I will see an attorney on Wednesday and he will be able to help me with the financial part of keeping Ron in Rehab.
I would just like to ask those who choose to - to pray that we can keep our home and pay the monthly bills. MediCal will ask for more than half of our income and that won't be enough to stay in our home. I know that the Lord - He it is that doth go before me; He is with me; He will not fail me nor forsake me; I will fear not nor be dismayed. I have to turn all the worries over to God. I have cried unto the Lord and He hears me. He will calm this storm as He has done so many times before.
I feel like I have experienced several storms over the past 13 months. However, I am still here - healthy and well - and leaning forever on the Lord.
I was thumbing through my Bible and came upon these verses in the book of Psalms (which I do love). Psalm 107, vs. 27-29 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end. Then, they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Wow - these verses in the book of Psalms reached right out and grabbed me. I have literally reeled to and fro and staggered - I have been at my wit's end more than once. I too have cried unto the Lord in my trouble - He has brought me out of so many distresses. Even now He calms the storm for me and quiets the fears and anxieties.
I am still trusting the Lord to heal Ron. Ron is still on the respirator and feeding tube. However, he has passed the swallowing test so he will begin to be introduced to food by mouth. He has gotten stronger in his legs and today took 50 steps with the help of the physical therapist. I am constantly asking Jesus to be Ron's respirator instead of the machine. I have actually pictured myself bowed down at the feet of Jesus - touching his robe and asking him to touch and heal Ron.
I also have asked for the Lord's wisdom and guidance as I have to make so many financial decisions by myself. I will have to file for Medi Cal - Ron's bill for staying in the Rehab. center is $20,000 a month. I'm afraid we just can't afford that. I will see an attorney on Wednesday and he will be able to help me with the financial part of keeping Ron in Rehab.
I would just like to ask those who choose to - to pray that we can keep our home and pay the monthly bills. MediCal will ask for more than half of our income and that won't be enough to stay in our home. I know that the Lord - He it is that doth go before me; He is with me; He will not fail me nor forsake me; I will fear not nor be dismayed. I have to turn all the worries over to God. I have cried unto the Lord and He hears me. He will calm this storm as He has done so many times before.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Lord is my Strength and My Shield
From Sandy -
Found out last night that Ron has pneumonia. The pneumonia is not bad, and he is on a very strong antibiotic, so this too shall pass. This has been such a roller coaster ride. Ron can speak when they put a speaking valve on his trach and that has been such a blessing. The nurses don't leave it on all the time, but put it on when he has visitors. Ron tells me that he is scared. He has gone through so many setbacks after his open heart surgery - but he is definitely better. I know that the Lord wants us to be patient. His timing is not ours. I know beyond all doubt that He will heal Ron and bring him home. As to how long that will take - I have no idea. Everytime there are two steps forward - there is a step backward. Ron was unable to communicate or even know who he was talking to 4 weeks ago - today he has clarity of mind and is watching some news on t.v. He also told me today that sometimes he gets hungry. In my mind, that is totally good news and a step forward.
I do get disappointed when I find out that Ron is not progressing the way I think he should. But I know that not only is the Lord my strength and shield - He is there taking care of Ron too. I will not lose hope and faith. I tell Ron not to lose it either. We just have to believe that the Lord has heard our prayers and will answer them in His own way and time.
I praise the Lord for giving me all the wonderful verses from the Bible to sustain me during this hard time in my life. The Bible has proven to be my strength, hope, faith, courage, shield, fortress, joy, and most of all peace and love.
Found out last night that Ron has pneumonia. The pneumonia is not bad, and he is on a very strong antibiotic, so this too shall pass. This has been such a roller coaster ride. Ron can speak when they put a speaking valve on his trach and that has been such a blessing. The nurses don't leave it on all the time, but put it on when he has visitors. Ron tells me that he is scared. He has gone through so many setbacks after his open heart surgery - but he is definitely better. I know that the Lord wants us to be patient. His timing is not ours. I know beyond all doubt that He will heal Ron and bring him home. As to how long that will take - I have no idea. Everytime there are two steps forward - there is a step backward. Ron was unable to communicate or even know who he was talking to 4 weeks ago - today he has clarity of mind and is watching some news on t.v. He also told me today that sometimes he gets hungry. In my mind, that is totally good news and a step forward.
I do get disappointed when I find out that Ron is not progressing the way I think he should. But I know that not only is the Lord my strength and shield - He is there taking care of Ron too. I will not lose hope and faith. I tell Ron not to lose it either. We just have to believe that the Lord has heard our prayers and will answer them in His own way and time.
I praise the Lord for giving me all the wonderful verses from the Bible to sustain me during this hard time in my life. The Bible has proven to be my strength, hope, faith, courage, shield, fortress, joy, and most of all peace and love.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Lord Knows the Future and has planned it out for us
Hi again - me, Sandy
Just wanted to talk about how comforting it is for me to know that the Lord knows the future for me and He is there to make the path tried and true. I forget sometimes how great the Lord really is. He does know each of our futures and He has planned out our lives. It's true that He gives us free will, but if we trust our will to Him - our future will be blessed with peace and joy.
I have a very uncertain future at this time. That's why it is so important for me to know that the Lord - He it is that goes before me. He knows the future for me and I am definitely holding His hand througout the ordeal I am going through. He will not fail me nor forsake me. I know He is here, and in the future and He knows exactly what will be. I am trusting Him with my husband, myself, and our home and finances. I know that God does make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see - He will make a way for me. I have faith and hope for each new day and know that the Lord God Almighty is in my future, as well as the present and the past.
My husband Ron is making a very slow recovery - He's going forward - that's what matters. I will have to apply for Medi Cal because the cost of Ron being in a Rehab Facility with a ventilator and feeding tube is $20,000 per month. Again, I trust the Lord and know that He will provide through thick and thin. I have never ever been so close to God in my entire life. I guess He thought it was about time He sat me down and taught me some valuable lessons. The lessons I am learning and the faith that has been given to me - I am truly not worthy. It is a miracle in my eyes that the Lord God Almighty can even love a sinner such as I am. And, yet he does. I feel His love every day in every way. I know He hears my prayers and He is answering them. Maybe not as quickly as I would have Him answer them - BUT He is answering my prayers.!!!
How blessed I am to know my Lord and Savior and How blessed I am to be loved by Him. He even has the time to hear my prayers. I am truly blessed and honored to be one of his "sheep".
Just wanted to talk about how comforting it is for me to know that the Lord knows the future for me and He is there to make the path tried and true. I forget sometimes how great the Lord really is. He does know each of our futures and He has planned out our lives. It's true that He gives us free will, but if we trust our will to Him - our future will be blessed with peace and joy.
I have a very uncertain future at this time. That's why it is so important for me to know that the Lord - He it is that goes before me. He knows the future for me and I am definitely holding His hand througout the ordeal I am going through. He will not fail me nor forsake me. I know He is here, and in the future and He knows exactly what will be. I am trusting Him with my husband, myself, and our home and finances. I know that God does make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see - He will make a way for me. I have faith and hope for each new day and know that the Lord God Almighty is in my future, as well as the present and the past.
My husband Ron is making a very slow recovery - He's going forward - that's what matters. I will have to apply for Medi Cal because the cost of Ron being in a Rehab Facility with a ventilator and feeding tube is $20,000 per month. Again, I trust the Lord and know that He will provide through thick and thin. I have never ever been so close to God in my entire life. I guess He thought it was about time He sat me down and taught me some valuable lessons. The lessons I am learning and the faith that has been given to me - I am truly not worthy. It is a miracle in my eyes that the Lord God Almighty can even love a sinner such as I am. And, yet he does. I feel His love every day in every way. I know He hears my prayers and He is answering them. Maybe not as quickly as I would have Him answer them - BUT He is answering my prayers.!!!
How blessed I am to know my Lord and Savior and How blessed I am to be loved by Him. He even has the time to hear my prayers. I am truly blessed and honored to be one of his "sheep".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)