Hi everyone - it's me again, Sandy. I have not heard from Susan but hope and pray that Gene is on the road to recovery and that the Lord is giving Susan the strength and support that she needs at this difficult time.
I have been so busy lately preparing for my surgery. I know I won't be able to lift things or properly take care of my home after the surgery, so I have been cleaning and shopping and trying to get everything in order. I still wake up every morning feeling like a ton of bricks are on my back - but once I kneel and pray, I feel much better and get through the day with a much lighter feeling knowing that God is in charge. I love to start the day with part of my prayer being "Hello God, This is your day, I am your child, please show me the way". I have to turn my colon and body over to Him each morning and this enables me to get through the day with little or no worry about my surgery.
Friends, family and even strangers have been blessing me so much during this time of waiting. I am a people person and love to be around people. It's been hard this past year as the bank where I worked for 14 years was closed down by the FDIC and I miss all the wonderful people that I worked with. I have had to stay at home and have not had the money to do much. I guess the Lord gave me this "down" time to be alone and ponder just who I am and why I'm here inhabiting a small piece of this large world we live in. I have felt lonely and worthless and have gotten really lazy. God in His wonderful way turned my world upside down and He has definitely given me a purpose in this life of mine. Having always been a whiner and a "poor me" type, I do believe I have finally matured. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me and I certainly don't want to feel sorry for myself. I have to be strong and face this trial head on. I have to be brave for my family and prove to them that the Lord has and will sustain me throughout this period of my life. I honestly feel that the answer to handling all of life's ups and downs is to put God first and everything else including me, second. The more I dwell upon God's word and His love and His promises, the less I dwell on my health and the surgery.
The Lord has given me a precious gift. He has given me Himself. He has always been there throughout all my fears and trepidations, but now I know Him and I truly trust Him. If it were not for this present situation that I find myself in, I would have never felt so close to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I still envision bowing down at his feet and touching the hem of his robe. He looks down at me and lifts me to my feet and tells me "I will heal you".
My growing relationship with the Lord reminds me of the song from The King and I - Getting to Know You -
Getting to know you, getting to know all about you,
getting to like you, getting to know you like me,
Getting to know you, putting it my way but nicely,
You are precisely my cup of tea
Getting to know you, getting to feel free and easy,
When I am with you, getting to know what to say,
Haven't you noticed suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about you
Day by day
I hope no one takes offense to this comparison - but I feel so comfortable with the Lord that the words to this song apply so much to my experience with Him. Through the trials and tribulations of life, we really get to know our Heavenly Father and know Him as our Father.
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