He is my lifeline

I will attempt to tell you about how I know that God is my lifeline. It began the day I wandered into a pet shop with my friend. The cutest little puppy was in a cage jumping up and down looking right at me with those adorable "puppy" eyes. Never would I have thought about going into a pet shop to buy a dog. After all, I already had two dogs, four cats, one chicken, one donkey, and two horses. However, I could not get the image of that little puppy out of my mind - I wanted him to go to a home where he would be loved and cared for. What better home for him than my home where I knew that I would love and care for him. I went home and told my husband maybe thinking he would agree to the purchase of this little guy. Well he loves animals too, so he insisted that I go the next day and bring him home - which is exactly what I did. Within two weeks of bringing that little guy home, he developed kennel cough which turned into pneumonia. One night I noticed that he was having problems breathing - so at midnight my husband and I took him to an emergency veterinarian. He recovered from the kennel cough and pneumonia just in time to break his "elbow" and he needed to have a pin to hold the bone together which required surgery. Being the stress case that I am and loving animals like I do, I developed shingles from the anxiety and worry I had for this adorable little Papillon puppy. He got better but I was a nervous wreck.

To make a long story short - the shingles brought me to the doctor - the nurse checking me out looked at my records and asked why I had not sent in a stool sample that Kaiser mails out to its patients if he/she has never had a colonoscopy. I told her I had thrown the kit away, so she sent me home with another one and I promised her I would send it back to the hospital. Two weeks later I got a call that the sample was positive which required a colonoscopy. I had no symptoms of any problem and I'm still very healthy to this day, but the colonoscopy revealed that my colon had hundreds of polyps - some large, some medium and some small - from the beginning to the end of it. I awoke after the colonoscopy to hear the doctor tell me I would need surgery. Later I was to find out that the surgery was to remove my entire colon.

I cannot begin to tell you about the fear that this news brought. I couldn't believe it! Had the doctor mistaken my colon for someone else's? Of course not - it was my colon and my colon is very diseased with polyps which are considered pre-cancer. I don't have cancer, but each and every polyp is a waiting time bomb.

This hit me hard and happened on May 11, 2010. Nothing has ever had a more devastating impact upon me than the thought of losing my colon and the impending surgery. I always thought the worst day of my life was the day my Mother died, but when I realized that a very important part of my body would be cut away, I was frightened beyond belief. I know that God can use our trials and turn them into blessings, but I'm still facing alot of unknowns as well as my very first surgery and I have days that are almost unbearable. Nevertheless, I have been blessed throughout this experience. Never have I been closer to the Lord than I have been the past few months. He is strong for me when I am oh so weak. He is the meaning of peace in the middle of this dark and threatening storm. He is teaching me all about trust, faith and strength through this experience. I am His and I am hanging onto the lifeline He has provided for me with all my heart and soul. His word has given me so much strength and shown me so much love. The Lord is my sheperd - I shall not want.

I want to say more, but another time.