An Awakening

From Sandy -

You know, my marriage to Ron has gone through alot of bumps in the road. Sometimes these bumps were big boulders, other times minor irritations. Ron and I have never been "friends". Maybe we should have never gotten married - who knows. However, we did get married and through all the "stuff" in our marriage, we have stayed together. There was one time I left Ron for three months, and one time he left me for a few months. But, we came back to each other.

It takes a crisis to realize just what you think of someone else. Having never thought of Ron as my friend, I always thought I could live just fine without him. Not having him here at home for all these many months (going on 11 months now), I find that I really do miss him. I have found out that I really do love him and I want the best for him. I have heard music that both of us used to listen to, and the sobs well up in my throat because I remember the special times we have had together. I look at him lying in that hospital bed and I see a gentle person who is fearful and who has been through hell and back. I don't think about the bad times we had in our marriage, I only see the love and the good times that we had.

I tell him constantly how much I love him. I hold his hand and try to assure him that everything will be o.k. I pray with him and tell him that his goal and mine is to get him home.

Right now, Ron has gotten over the pneumonia. His diarrhea is clearing up and his kidneys are working better - so is his heart. He is still on the ventilator, but again I am asking the Lord to get him off of it. I can't listen to what anyone is telling me to do except my heart and the Lord. I find it strange that most of the hospital personnel want me to make a decision to take Ron off of life support. I have been approached on this subject during the past months probably as many as 15 times. I cannot allow anyone to persuade me while Ron is fighting for his life. I must continue to seek the Lord in all decisions I make and honor Ron's will to live.

I love my husband and I miss him. It's funny that it took his horrible illness for me to realize just how much I love him.

I ask the Lord to keep him constantly in His care. I ask the Lord to be his breathing machine, not the ventilator. I ask the Lord to bring him home to me before He brings him home to heaven. I ask the Lord to touch Ron's heart and help him to know that He is Lord and Savior. I ask the Lord to lead Ron to salvation. I ask the Lord for all good things for my husband. May God bless Ron!!!