Jesus is all I need

From Sandy -

I have to be honest - life is tough for me. I struggle every minute of every day trying to keep sane. My thoughts go constantly to my husband, Ron. When I eat, I think about how Ron cannot eat. When I laugh, I think about how Ron has nothing to smile about. When I get loved by our dogs, or provide a lap for our cat - I think about how Ron is missing that. In other words, I am feeling pretty darn guilty about what I am able to enjoy and Ron is deprived of.

I would do almost anything to give Ron the comforts of life - but right now I do not have the means to do that. I see the suffering and the many illnesses he has had to face and I feel ashamed and selfish when I don't think things are going "my way" or I am in to self pity. The one thing that I do - I pray constantly for Ron. He is always being lifted up in prayer to God.

My daughter is feeling the effects of her Dad's illness. She is struggling to cope with her Dad's illness, and to make it worse - my dog ate her favorite shoes tonight. She broke down and said she cannot cope. She said she was sorry about her reaction, and I know that she is. But - I am finding it hard to cope myself and knowing that she is struggling makes it even harder for me. I have leaned on her and honestly I don't think she is able to withstand the trials that she is facing. She is on an anti-depressant and she is also a juvenile diabetic. She has even threatened suicide. She has scared me to death with this threat. She has been there through thick and thin to support me - however, I know that her mental capacity for the trials of life are not equivalent to mine. Maybe God is testing her. Maybe God is putting her through the fire to make her stronger. I have protected her always - even into adult hood. Maybe these trials and tribulations that we are all going through are helping her to strengthen her own faith. I can only hope and pray so. In my heart, I know she would never harm herself due to her circumstances, but I also know she suffers from depression and this roller coaster ride that we have both been on has affected her. Please keep my daughter, Lisa, in your prayers.

I can tell you this - every trial that we have had to face in our own lives has been experienced by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Maybe he didn't suffer for the same exact reasons, but be assured that he suffered many trials - trials involving family, sickness, death, and much much more. He went through torture and humiliation - He was totally deserted and left alone to face his own death - His disciples deserted Him. Even God , His Father who loved Him more than we will ever know, had to desert Him as he took on the sins of the world. God sent His only begotten Son so that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Jesus knows my own suffering - He knows what Lisa and I and Ron are going through. He sees us and understands because He lived here on earth and experienced it all. I feel His love and His strength. More than these, I know that He knows exactly how I feel. He knows how I am scared and He knows my weakness. When I bow down before Jesus, HE hears me and knows me. He gives me rest in the middle of the night - He is my strength when I am too weak to carry on - He calms my fears - He listens to me and understands and walks with me - He provides a pillow for me to rest and sleep in peace - He inspires me to be my best - He directs my path and leads me through the valley of the shadow of death - He restores my soul - He gives me joy and peace and gladness. He is with me, He comforts me, I shall not want. HE IS ALL I NEED!!!