Remembering Ron

Ron was born in Rockford, IL in 1939. He was an educated man with a bachelor's degree and two master's degrees. He loved his country and was very conservative when it came to anything regarding government.

He loved animals and had four cats and two dogs that he adored. He missed them so much during the months he was in the hospital or nursing home.

During the 44 years that we were married, he went to the doctor once and to the dentist once. He never took care of himself and when he was told he had the heart attack on December 23, 2010 - he was also told that he had heart attacks in the years past. I could tell when he didn't feel good and would encourage him to go to the doctor, but he would have none of it. He smoked two packs of cigarettes a day up until the day of the major heart attack. His lungs and heart were greatly damaged from smoking.

He suffered more than a human being should be allowed to suffer during the 15 months of his illness. He had so many infections and illnesses - one right after another. At his weakest point he had to have colon surgery. This one surgery in itself is major and I feel that it was what finally weakened Ron's body so that he could no longer fight. However, without the surgery he would have died - so it was a "no win" situation.

I miss him and know that he is with our Lord.

He worked as an engineer and his intelligence at times astounded me. Guess that's one reason why it became so sad to see him confused and "out of it" during the last days of his life.

I will always love him and the world is not the same without Ron in it. Although he was 72 years old, I feel he left too soon. But, who can argue with God. He saw fit to take Ron and at the end I was simply asking for God's will to be done. I don't understand why he suffered so and was only home for 8 days, but God had a plan. God did not want Ron to misuse his body by smoking and making bad choices in his life, but God gives us a free will. Therefore, Ron's health was greatly at risk and his lifestyle was his demise.

I feel lost and sad today - the day of his memorial. I will speak at the memorial and ask the Lord for strength so I don't break down. Ron was always here and although we had our ups and downs, love was forever in the middle.

I ask the Lord to send up words of love from me to Ron - My heart hurts and my life seems empty right now.