The Middle Man

From Sandy -

For once - this has nothing to do with my condition or surgery. I found out tonight at 11:30 p.m. in my e-mail that I have hurt a friend's feelings. I feel really horrible right now about the whole thing and decided to share it with all of you. I don't know if any of you have gone through this experience, but this is the second time in my life I have been confronted about being a "bad" friend.

I will share with you what happened. My friend (who is angry with me, friend #1) is upset because I invited certain friends to a luncheon and did not invite her. We are all friends from our former employer which was a bank that was closed down by the FDIC. The reason I did not invite her was that my "other" friend (friend #2) suggested getting together for lunch with some ex co-workers, but since there are bad feelings between friend #1 and friend #2, I felt that friend #1 would not want to come and friend #2 would resent my inviting her. Neither one of them like each other - and I like them both - so I am kind of in the middle. I felt that friend #1 (the one who is angry with me) would not come to a lunch where friend #2 (the friend who wanted me to get some people together for lunch) would be attending. Both of these people are not happy by the fact that I associate with the other one. Therefore, I am put in the middle. I really do love both of them as friends and I have to walk on egg shells sometimes to keep from hurting one or the other by befriending both of them. As it turns out I did hurt one of them. I don't know what God would think about this. I feel like I was wrong for not inviting friend #1. She's always been a good friend, but she told me on no uncertain terms that I really hurt her by leaving her out and not inviting her to this get together.

It is almost midnight here right now and I can't sleep because I just feel horrible about hurting my friend. I did apologize and told friend #1 that I understood exactly how she felt and I am so sorry for excluding her. Being the "people pleaser" that I am - it is hard to make everyone happy. And trust me, I try to please everyone even if it means harming myself. I guess you could say it is almost a weakness of mine. So, I just had to get this off of my chest and share it with you. If anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear them. I cannot stand for anyone to be angry with me or dislike me - again the "people pleaser" in me. I know that life is not perfect and I have to be willing to admit that sometimes what I do hurts others. It's just not easy for me to realize that I have caused pain to someone else and yet I have. I know that the Lord forgives us, but sometimes people don't. I will definitely turn this over to the Lord.

Anyway, I am not perfect. I continually make mistakes and still sin. Thanks be to God because I know that he understands me. He knows me inside and out, yet He still loves me. I have apologized to my dear friend and will say a prayer that God will make this right. To some, this might not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. Friends are so valuable in a person's life. They are the treasures that keep on giving. I don't want to lose this friend just because I excluded her from a gathering of our ex co-workers. Hope this makes sense to some of you. I just had a heavy heart tonight and had to share this. I was wrong by excluding her, but I honestly did not think she would come if she were invited. I should never try to think for anyone else except myself.