Trusting always in the Lord

From Sandy -

Ron is still in pretty bad condition. His kidneys are not doing well and he has fluid around his lungs. He still has diarrhea and the hospital is keeping him pretty much on morphine for pain. I can't believe everything that has happened to Ron in 11 months. I cannot tell you how much it breaks my heart that he was only home for one week out of these 11 months. He was so thrilled to be home. He was happy and content even though he was weak. Why the Lord allowed him to get so sick after all the months Ron tried to get better is way too much for me to figure out.

I am so depressed over the events that have occurred since the first of October. Ron has progressively gone down hill and has not really made any steps forward. I love my husband so much. I have been married to him for 44 years this December. I can't imagine life without him. We have definitely had our ups and downs, but through everything I have always loved Ron. I honestly don't know if he has ever accepted Jesus as his savior. I sure hope so. I have prayed for that in my most recent prayers. Jesus loves Ron and is just waiting for Ron to accept Him. When Ron leaves this earth, I so want him to know the love and peace waiting for him. I want him to be able to have a healthy youthful body that is not broken and hurting. I want him to be able to smile and laugh instead of grimace and frown with pain. It absolutely devastates to know what Ron is going through right now. I feel so helpless and have come to the point that I don't know what to pray. At this time in my life, I truly have to trust the Lord and know without a doubt that the Lord will do what is best for Ron. It may not be what I desire for Ron, but the Lord knows and I trust Him and only Him. Again, I refer to Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path. This verse goes with me every hour of every day. When I get scared and feel lost - this verse gets me through. No - I don't understand why Ron has had to suffer so - but the Lord tells me to trust Him and lean not unto my own understanding. At times I don't know what to do - at these times I need to acknowledge the Lord and He will direct my path.

Anyone who cares to - please pray that Ron knows Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Ron has lived hell down here on earth - when he leaves this earth I hope and pray He will wake up in heaven.

Thy Will Be Done

From Sandy -

Ron is still on a ventilator as of this date. He is running a low grade fever and now he has diarrhea. His heart is beating too rapidly and I'm not sure what else is going on. My heart breaks for Ron. To see him lying in a hospital bed hooked up to all kinds of tubes is a continuation of his nightmarish illnesses. I still don't know what the Lord has in store for Ron. Trying to outguess God is a foolish thing to do. I have tried to do that by thinking that I know God's will for Ron. I am finding out that I don't know what the Lord is going to do. Sometimes faith is just letting go of all the things you want to happen, knowing that if you trust in God, what does happen is a blessing bigger than what you were asking for.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct Thy path".

I will do this - I will trust the Lord and not try to understand everything. I will acknowledge the Lord in everything I do so that He will direct my path.

I know that the Lord knows what is best. I commit Ron unto God who created him.

Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Comments

From Sandy -

I know that posting a comment is not possible on this blog. However, I would love the comments. I am trying to be a prayer warrior for Ron and I need to have support from anyone who chooses to do so. Ron may be facing surgery for the stint that they placed in his bowels. Surgery on someone so weak is a great risk - so I am going to give you my e-mail address - I would so love to hear from you. My address is: briddick_136@msn.com

Bless you all!!!

James 5:15

From Sandy -

Ron is still in ICU - now he is considered stable and not guarded. He is still on the ventilator, but they are trying to wean him off of it.

This is a continuous struggle for him and for me. I struggle with this setback and the suffering that Ron has had to go through. I know Ron is struggling with life itself. When will all of this end? When will the rainbow appear and the sunshine light our way?

I ask these questions continually. HOWEVER, I came upon the verse James 5:15 "And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven". This verse is my lifeline. It encourages me to keep praying, keep believing and knowing that the Lord will save Ron's soul. God's word is always there to sustain me and give me hope when everything seems so hopeless.

Another verse in James is James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much"
How I hold on to these verses. The Lord gave them to me and I will always hold them in my heart. I am praying fervently for Ron to get off the ventilator, be well enough to come home, and come to know Our Savior Jesus Christ. If anyone cares to pray this as well for us, what a blessing that would be!!!

Meditation and Prayer

From Sandy -

I am going to make this a short post, but I have to tell you what happened to me this morning. I was reading bible verses and my "streams in the desert" and then just took some time to stop and think about Ron's situation. I don't really know that Ron has accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior. He has used Jesus's name as a swear word. I know for certain Ron believes in God, but not so sure he accepts Jesus as his Savior.

As I was pondering over this, a thought came into my mind that was like an electric shock. It was this - Ron's life will be spared so his soul can be saved. I do believe this with all my heart and soul. After all, God told me. I want Ron to be able to go to sleep some day and wake up in heaven. I want both he and I to be assured of this. I know this is God's will. I know Ron will come home. He may have to have palliative care or hospice, but he is coming home. I have asked the Lord to allow him to be home for at least one year. I will do everything in my power to bring Jesus to Ron - if he won't listen to me, I'll find someone who he will listen to.

I can't believe all the changes in me since my surgery and Ron's surgery and condition. The Lord is so real to me and He is my constant companion. This year has been pretty crappy, but how can you put a price on faith - and that's a gift that the Lord has given to me. Growing in faith has only come through experiencing trials and pain. But what a blessing faith is - it's simply the best.

Code Blue and ICU

From Sandy -

I went to see Ron yesterday and he could not be awakened. His blood pressure was o.k. and his oxygen level was o.k. I had just talked to the doctor about sending Ron back to Reche Canyon Rehab for a couple of weeks before he would come home. All of a sudden Ron's oxygen level dropped to the 70's and he was in very grave condition. Nurses and doctors started running into his room and a code blue was called. He was then transferred to ICU and remains in critical condition.

I'm sorry, but I truly am struggling with all of this and the Lord's plans for Ron. This is so devastating and I am walking around in a dark cloud. I know we don't always know the answers to life's questions. Only God knows what is going on right now in Ron's life and why it is going on. I have no clue as to why this is happening. I fight back with constant prayer and ask the Lord for strength. I just don't understand why Ron was only home for 7 days before he had to go back to the hospital and is now in critical condition. I find it really hard to let go of Ron. I keep asking the Lord to heal him and bring him back home. I can't even entertain the other thought of Ron's passing. I still feel that Ron is not done here yet. His life is needed for whatever purpose the Lord sees fit. This is a very strong feeling in my soul and when I think of anything else, I always come back to the fact that Ron is not done yet here on earth.

I have no wisdom to give anyone at this point. My spiritual life is being taxed to the limit - and yet I still knw that the Lord is with us. Sometimes it is so hard to understand and we simply have to accept the fact that we cannot understand. I still trust the Lord and still look to Him for strength. I always think about Job and everything he suffered. The Lord allowed him to suffer and in the end took care of him. We don't come close to the suffering Job endured, but nonetheless, Ron and I are in a very "suffering" place right now.

Please pray for Ron to recover and come home. I am asking the Lord to allow him to at least be here for one year - or more if the Lord sees fit. I love my husband and my heart is aching for him. I continually pray for the Lord to guide the hands and the minds of the nurses and doctors who are caring for him.

Update on Ron's Condition

Thanks to everyone for prayers. The prayers worked for his blockage. The doctor was able to put a stint in his bowel so stuff can flow through. So far it is working. Now - I am asking for more prayers for another condition Ron has. His blood pressure is sky high, he is confused and agitated, and he is having trouble breathing. The hospital is moving him to the telemetry floor so they can care for his heart better. He is low on potassium which his heart needs. He is totally out of it and has to have his hands tied down. Again, this roller coaster ride is just not letting us off. Prayers would be much appreciated for this new problem. I know the Lord loves Ron and has Him in His care, but I have to be honest and let you know I don't understand this at all. Please keep Ron in your prayers. Love,SANDY