My mornings, my dog, and the Lord

From Sandy -

Mornings are really hard for me. I wake up feeling like a ton of bricks is on my chest. Sometimes I sleep very late because I just don't want to face the day. Once I am up, I get busy feeding horses, cleaning corrals, cleaning up after the dog, and feeding the cats. I do this almost as soon as my feet touch the floor. I get dressed, I'm out the door and taking care of the animals. All this time I am feeling anxious.

When I have a minute, I go back to my bedroom and spend time opening e-mails. Then I see what news there is on the internet. Finally I look at the bible verse for the day and read my "Streams in the Desert" daily devotional. Then, after calming down and getting a grip on life, I bow my head in prayer. Only after I have prayed and meditated on the Lord do I calm down. It's an amazing thing that happens to me - a peace that passes all understanding envelops me and I know I'll be able to conquer the day. I realize at that time that there is nothing I will have to face alone because my Heavenly Father is there to guide me and to lighten the load. The Lord clears the fog in my brain and brings a blue sky and sunshine with a clarity of hope and faith and strength.

As I write this, I realize I get things backwards. Once my feet first hit the floor, I should then kneel on the floor and ask the Lord to get me through the day. It's a way of refreshing the day -showering off all of the fear, pain, anxiety and stress that are covering me. It's starting over again brand new with the knowledge that the Lord is right there with me to direct my path and slay all the demons that get in the way.

I am a person that finds it hard to relax. I am always thinking about what I should be doing when I sit and take time to unwind. I guess you could say I am always nervous and stressing. Only through the Lord do I find the ability to become serene and give up the fears and stresses of the day. He is my comfort and He is the love of my life.

Right now I am facing putting my dog to sleep. He's a mixture of german shepard, collie, who knows what else. His name is Alfie and he is 12 years old. He's a big boy and he has always been so active that you had to pet him in a hurry, because he would be so wiggily and glad to see you. Now he is old - he has bladder cancer and he has gotten very weak. He doesn't eat unless I feed him. I am having the hardest time knowing what to do. He's so afraid of the vet. I don't want to put him through the trip there. He is big, so I can't just get him in the car and go. I truly love him although as a young dog he was a pain - ate even the stucco off of the corner of our house and chewed up every shoe or anything that was left on the ground. I have turned him over to the Lord and still don't know what to do. In my opinion, the Lord is saying "wait". The Lord will make a way where there seems to be no way.

Again, I know the Lord cares for everything I love and care about. So He knows all about Alfie. He knows the pain I am going through just thinking about what to do with Alfie. Sometimes I know the Lord says "wait". The pain and stress of "waiting" is hard to do, but I know that the Lord loves Alfie too and will be there for Alfie and me.

I haven't prayed yet this morning nor ready my Bible, so I will "destress" and turn all of my worries over to the Lord. He will give me rest.