One day at a time

From Sandy-
Just wanted to let everyone know that I have heard from Susan. She is coping and still making arrangements for the funeral. Please continue to send prayers her way.

I will try to post here at least twice a week until Susan can make it back. Right now she is trying to arrange the funeral and take care of other things.

I am coping with this bag - but I must admit there are times when I get nauseous just looking at it. I know it is temporary and there are people who live with a colostomy bag on a daily basis. Right now I am taking everything one day at a time. I face another surgery but have lost lots of weight. I can't have the surgery to connect the j-pouch until I gain some weight. I went to my favorite restaurant today - PF Changs. I ate like a pig and hopefully will gain back some of the pounds I have lost. I drink Ensure and am starting to drink lots of milk (which I never drink). The more I eat the stronger I feel. I ate Lo Mein noodles at PF Changs and they are supposed to be high in calories. They tasted so good although I had to avoid the celery and mushrooms - both of which I also love but could clog the stoma. My appetite is totally out of whack. Anything that I have in the house does not taste good. However, when I eat out - I can pack it away. I did feel better after pigging out at PF Changs.

I can't believe that I have a problem of weighing too little. I have always had a wonderful appetite and all kinds of food has tasted good to me. My weight fluctuates and I have "never" been too thin before - believe me. It's so wierd for the nurse to tell me I have to eat food high in fat. Yesterday I ate a hamburger and cheese potato soup. I am trying hard to get some of this weight back. It's not as fun as you would think. I have to force myself to eat sometimes because I am not hungry.

I find that I have to take this whole process just one day at a time. My life has changed pretty drastically and there's only so much you can handle in one day. The Lord is helping me fight off depression. It's easy to get depressed when you can't go anywhere and do the things you are used to doing. It's only been three weeks and already I am going nuts. I am not one to lie around and watch tv or even read. I am a person who likes to be active and get alot of things done. Now I have to sit and watch the lady that cleans my house do the things I have always been so capable of doing until now. God is teaching me patience through all of this. I have always been short on patience with anyone else and now I have to be patient with myself. Again, I only have to do this one day at a time. I know that the Lord is healing me one day at a time.