My progress

From Sandy -

First of all, will everyone on this blog please pray for Susan and Gene. I heard that Gene is not doing as well as expected. Susan needs our prays that God will give her peace and strength as she faces each new day of Gene's illness. Gene needs our prayers to ask the Lord to be with him and comfort him in this time of his life.

Well - I still feel good but I'm very very tired. I had the night from HE-- last night and didn't fall asleep until 5:00 a.m. Had to make an emergency run to the hospital. There is a tear in my stoma (the small intestine that comes out of the abdomen) and the bag I was wearing filled up with alot of blood. This really scared me and I knew there was nothing left to do but to go to ER, which is exactly what my husband and I did. I also have a bladder infection and it has made me so uncomfortable. I know that nothing runs perfect in life and ups and downs are bound to come with this surgery. After getting home from the hospital at 2 a.m., I was awake most of the night replacing my bag - each one would start leaking and it was not a pretty sight. I wanted so badly to just call someone at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, but of course I knew that would not be a good thing to do. Then, I realized that I am never alone and I called upon the Lord to help me get through the night. I fell asleep around 5:00 and slept until 11:00 a.m. I did get some sleep. I realized through all of this that even when I feel like I am alone - I am not. The Lord is always with me to give me faith, strength, hope and tomorrow morning.

I'm going to have to see the ostomy nurse tomorrow and see what can be done for my stoma. It is such a task to take care of my new body - not pleasant. I have gotten into self pity and that's totally the wrong thing to do. Again, I have to turn to the Lord and ask for His guidance in all of this. I know that all of us our His children and although I don't work now quite the way He made me, He loves me none the less for it. I think self-pity can really be a sin. It takes away all the blessings and covers your world in a gloomy cloud. My daughter was able to bring me out of the self-pity tonight. She said to think about people who have handicaps much worse than mine. I'm not really counting mine as a handicap. I am still blessed and being blessed by the Lord and will conquer the self-pity as well as "leaky" bags and "torn" stomas. I do have to work on my self-image right now, but the Lord will help me with that too.

I hope that this finds all of you well. Again, please pray for Susan and Gene.