Just have to share

From Sandy -

Today I had an appointment with the ostomy nurse. She was going to assist me with putting a bag on me that would stay. My husband and I traveled 1 mile and my bag started leaking. We had to turn around and go back home. Once there, it took me one hour to get another back on - after already going through two. I was sitting in my bathroom crying and actually cried out for the Lord to help me. I was desperate and had to get to the hospital to see the nurse. Fortunately I was able to call and let them know I would be late. They accommodated me once I got there and I am hoping and praying that a new bag the nurse put on me will work. So far so good, but I'm afraid to say that. The bag is shaped better to my body and seems to be holding its own. I actually got down on my hands and knees and placed my body and the bag onto God.

I have been fighting despair over this whole thing but I know I am not alone. I know the Lord is with me and He will make it better. I asked the ostomy nurse if others in my situation ever felt so desperate and she told me "They always ask me when they will get their lives back. And, they tell me that their life ended after the surgery". I guess misery loves company because it did help to hear others were in the same desperate situation I was in. I know I have to be patient and will remember that "delay is not denial".

Self pity takes over sometimes and I just want to lie down and cry my eyes out. Thank God these moments don't last too long and I am able to put "me" aside and stop thinking about the "poor me". I know this will get better and I know that the Lord is with me. Good thing I didn't know all I would have to go through before I had the surgery. I think I would have definitely thought twice about it.

Well, good night to all - have a blessed tomorrow.