Monday, September 19, 2011

My mornings, my dog, and the Lord

From Sandy -
Mornings are really hard for me. I wake up feeling like a ton of bricks is on my chest. Sometimes I sleep very late because I just don't want to face the day. Once I am up, I get busy feeding horses, cleaning corrals, cleaning up after the dog, and feeding the cats. I do this almost as soon as my feet touch the floor. I get dressed, I'm out the door and taking care of the animals. All this time I am feeling anxious.
When I have a minute, I go back to my bedroom and spend time opening e-mails. Then I see what news there is on the internet. Finally I look at the bible verse for the day and read my "Streams in the Desert" daily devotional. Then, after calming down and getting a grip on life, I bow my head in prayer. Only after I have prayed and meditated on the Lord do I calm down. It's an amazing thing that happens to me - a peace that passes all understanding envelops me and I know I'll be able to conquer the day. I realize at that time that there is nothing I will have to face alone because my Heavenly Father is there to guide me and to lighten the load. The Lord clears the fog in my brain and brings a blue sky and sunshine with a clarity of hope and faith and strength.
As I write this, I realize I get things backwards. Once my feet first hit the floor, I should then kneel on the floor and ask the Lord to get me through the day. It's a way of refreshing the day -showering off all of the fear, pain, anxiety and stress that are covering me. It's starting over again brand new with the knowledge that the Lord is right there with me to direct my path and slay all the demons that get in the way.
I am a person that finds it hard to relax. I am always thinking about what I should be doing when I sit and take time to unwind. I guess you could say I am always nervous and stressing. Only through the Lord do I find the ability to become serene and give up the fears and stresses of the day. He is my comfort and He is the love of my life.
Right now I am facing putting my dog to sleep. He's a mixture of german shepard, collie, who knows what else. His name is Alfie and he is 12 years old. He's a big boy and he has always been so active that you had to pet him in a hurry, because he would be so wiggily and glad to see you. Now he is old - he has bladder cancer and he has gotten very weak. He doesn't eat unless I feed him. I am having the hardest time knowing what to do. He's so afraid of the vet. I don't want to put him through the trip there. He is big, so I can't just get him in the car and go. I truly love him although as a young dog he was a pain - ate even the stucco off of the corner of our house and chewed up every shoe or anything that was left on the ground. I have turned him over to the Lord and still don't know what to do. In my opinion, the Lord is saying "wait". The Lord will make a way where there seems to be no way.
Again, I know the Lord cares for everything I love and care about. So He knows all about Alfie. He knows the pain I am going through just thinking about what to do with Alfie. Sometimes I know the Lord says "wait". The pain and stress of "waiting" is hard to do, but I know that the Lord loves Alfie too and will be there for Alfie and me.
I haven't prayed yet this morning nor ready my Bible, so I will "destress" and turn all of my worries over to the Lord. He will give me rest.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Surrender at the feet of Jesus

From Sandy -
Surrender at the feet of Jesus. I came upon these words this morning as I was reading a daily devotional. How I identify with these precious and beautiful words. I have surrendered and still surrender on a daily basis at the feet of Jesus. I bow down before him and see the hem of his robe as I reach out and touch it for strength, for healing, for love, and amazing grace. As I perform this act, I feel a tremendous love overflow me to the point that I actually get goosebumps and yet an overpowering feeling of warmth and love. How magnificent is our Lord, filled with grace and truth - what a privilege to carry everything to Him in prayer.
This surrendering at the feet of Jesus came to me as I read in the Bible about the woman who had a constant flow of blood. She was in the crowd when Jesus was preaching and made her way to him. Once she was at his feet, she reached out and touched the hem of his robe. Immediately the flow of blood stopped. Jesus said "Somebody has touched me for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me". When the woman saw that she was not hid, she came forth trembling and falling down before him. She declared unto him before the crowd for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately. And he said unto her "Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace" .
There is such peace in surrendering. Sometimes I picture myself as a hampster running in a wheel that takes me no where yet is such a struggle just to keep going thinking I can get it done, I can fix it, I can make things better. Such a waste of time and accomplishing nothing is what happens. When I surrender everything to the Lord - that's the time he can act. Yet, how many times have I surrendered only to take everything back because I thought the Lord was taking too long. This lesson I am learning is a life long lesson. Sometimes it's so hard to surrender even when we know that we should.
Every time I have surrendered Ron and his illnesses, (I mean truly surrendered) the Lord has healed Ron in some way. When I was facing my surgery, I finally came to faith by surrendering my body to the one who created it - and I was made whole and found the peace that passes all understanding.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Lord refreshes the weary

From Sandy -
In Jeremiah 31:25 the Lord tells us "I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint".
Right now that promise is what I'm hanging on to. The days of running this race sometimes become very dreary and monotonous. I am not complaining, just stating how I feel Sometimes the Lord leads us to places we would not choose to be in so we can grow. I read something today that made so much sense. If we had everything we wanted and lacked for nothing - we would not grow in strength and faith. We would become weak and dependent and not develop into a real person of character. The storms and valleys of life are opportunities to grow in grace and strength.
Growing comes with growing pains. Guess that's what I have been going through. I would just love to get away and take a vacation. But that would not solve the problems I would leave behind. My task right now is to be here taking care of finances and being Ron's voice throughout his recovery. I work behind the scenes to make sure Ron is getting the best of care and making sure that he is exercising and doing what he can for himself so he can come home. I praise the Lord that Ron's recovery is steady and that he is doing better every day. This does take some of the stress away.
I know that the Lord does refresh the weary. I wait upon him for his promise of refreshing. This has been two years I shall never forget. The Lord has walked with me throughout my surgery and throughout Ron's surgery and all the setbacks that he has gone through. Refreshing is on its' way and God's blessings will be poured out upon us. I feel that they have already started.
Haleluliah - how I love my Savior.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

God is our refuge and strength

From Sandy -
I still have many burdens that with the help of God are not quite as heavy to carry as they would be without Him. My daughter Lisa is still stressing and depressed about "life" in general and is not able to handle anything right now. My husband Ron is getting better, but I was told yesterday that he is not doing certain exercises nor cooperating in some ways. His nurse told me he was lazy. The speech therapist told me he cannot swallow and may never eat again. I told some of this to Ron and he asked me why I didn't just let him die nine months ago. Bills are mounting up here at home and I am trying to juggle money wherever I can to keep bills paid and to save a little for emergencies and Christmas - that is less than four months away.
These are burdens that I have to carry and with the help of the Lord I can carry them.
Psalm 46:1 says "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble". I know this is true. Right now at this time in my life there is no earthly being that can help me. God is the only one I lean on and reveal my trials to. He alone is my pillar of strength. Family members cannot help and friends are also going through tough times, so leaning on the Lord is what I am doing.
The only time I feel peace is when I spend it with God. He can calm my fears and give me the strength to face each new trial. I have been in worse trials than these, but the weariness of facing each trial on a daily basis gets to me. Jeremiah 31:25 says" I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint". This is a passage that gives me hope and grace. God will make good on His word.
My prayer for today is - "Heavenly Father, please refresh my spirit and my body. Help me to find blessings in the abundance you have already so graciously shared with me. To you belongs all glory, honor and power. I submit myself in faith waiting for the rest, peace, refreshing, refuge and strength that you have promised".
In the Name of Jesus I pray these things - A-Men