Hi,
I'm just home for a couple of minutes, but wanted to ask you to please pray for a full recovery for my husband, Gene. He had a stroke today, it was a big clot in his brain. They were able to remove it and smaller ones, but not sure what the outcome will be.
Thank you so much, Susan
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
What is the Lord's Plan for My Life?
This is something I have struggled with for a very long time. When I first became a Christian at the age of twenty, and for many years, I believed my purpose was to teach people things I learned from a Christian lady named Mary. (I wrote about her in my blog on July 8th, “One of my Lifetime Memorials”.) She had some beliefs that were not part of mainstream Christianity. As the years passed, and some of her prophesies did not happen. I began to question these beliefs, and eventually, wandered from my walk with the Lord.
After repenting and being forgiven by our Lord and Savior, I have worried that I walked away from His plan for my life. I have prayed about it for many years. I have read books on the subject. Yet, I didn’t experience any epiphanies.
Recently, when I talked to Sandy about her upcoming surgery and her walk with the Lord, she brought up the same topic. She has struggled over the years too, not really knowing her purpose for being here. In speaking with Sandy, it made me realize that I’m not alone. I want the Lord to one day say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
In 2001, while praying about this very subject, the Lord gave me a scripture. Psalm 45:1 “My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” I was so excited. I finally found my purpose! As a teacher my favorite thing was reading children’s books to my students. I loved watching their faces and reactions to the stories. I decided the Lord must want me to write children’s books. I tried many times, but there just wasn’t any real inspiration. I even thought that if the books glorified God in some way that was my purpose.
I have always had that scripture in my mind as a possible purpose for my life, but I quit trying to make it happen. The day I started this blog, (which you can read about by looking back at “I’m Here” in June). I didn’t think of that scripture. I have only recently realized that I’m fulfilling it!
I write this to encourage you. I’ve been so worried about my role in His Kingdom, and that I wasn’t doing enough. I realize now that I just need to keep my main role in His Kingdom, which is walking in obedience, and simply being a light to others. He will cause the rest to happen in His time!
Praise His Holy Name!
Susan
Please pray for Colby’s healing
Bonnie’s healing of her tumor
Miriam’s healing by a miracle or successful hip surgery on Aug. 14th
Sandy’s healing by a miracle or successful surgery
Nancy a job
Butch to hear from his daughter
After repenting and being forgiven by our Lord and Savior, I have worried that I walked away from His plan for my life. I have prayed about it for many years. I have read books on the subject. Yet, I didn’t experience any epiphanies.
Recently, when I talked to Sandy about her upcoming surgery and her walk with the Lord, she brought up the same topic. She has struggled over the years too, not really knowing her purpose for being here. In speaking with Sandy, it made me realize that I’m not alone. I want the Lord to one day say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
In 2001, while praying about this very subject, the Lord gave me a scripture. Psalm 45:1 “My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my verses to the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” I was so excited. I finally found my purpose! As a teacher my favorite thing was reading children’s books to my students. I loved watching their faces and reactions to the stories. I decided the Lord must want me to write children’s books. I tried many times, but there just wasn’t any real inspiration. I even thought that if the books glorified God in some way that was my purpose.
I have always had that scripture in my mind as a possible purpose for my life, but I quit trying to make it happen. The day I started this blog, (which you can read about by looking back at “I’m Here” in June). I didn’t think of that scripture. I have only recently realized that I’m fulfilling it!
I write this to encourage you. I’ve been so worried about my role in His Kingdom, and that I wasn’t doing enough. I realize now that I just need to keep my main role in His Kingdom, which is walking in obedience, and simply being a light to others. He will cause the rest to happen in His time!
Praise His Holy Name!
Susan
Please pray for Colby’s healing
Bonnie’s healing of her tumor
Miriam’s healing by a miracle or successful hip surgery on Aug. 14th
Sandy’s healing by a miracle or successful surgery
Nancy a job
Butch to hear from his daughter
Monday, July 26, 2010
Happiness
Good Day Everyone!
I prayed this morning as I went to get out my Bible and prayer journal, as I do each time I write. I asked the Lord to guide me as I write to Him and to you. I sat down near the computer, and checked my email. I noticed a subject headline from Oprah’s newsletter. It read, “What does it really take to be happy?” I didn’t read it. Actually, I thought I had unsubscribed from her newsletter some time ago. (I pray that in her spiritual journey, she will truly find Jesus Christ. I continue to pray for her.)
Then, I happened to turn to some of my notes from a sermon dated, November, 2008, it said, “Happiness depends largely on our circumstances, but joy is more of a quiet confidence in God and His promises. As you look at your own life, can you identify any sources of joy that have influenced you even when you weren’t happy?”
The answer I had written was, “Whenever I have prayed earnestly about something, and then found the answers in God’s Word and circumstances in my life.” Reflecting on that answer, I realize it was true then, and always has been true for me since becoming a child of God. I can’t think of a greater joy or thrill to know that God is speaking to me as an individual. Even though His words come from the Bible, written for all mankind, you know without a doubt the words that He led you to read at that moment are meant for you. So, often too, He uses outside sources to confirm it. A friend will say something, or you will read it somewhere else, the church sermon will bring it up, etc. However He chooses to communicate it, He causes His Spirit within you to recognize it is Him giving you the answer.
As I write to you the Lord is showing me that is the answer to Oprah’s question. True happiness is as our pastor stated, “...a quiet confidence in God and His promises.” When I experience the joy of His personal attention, it gives me confidence in God and His promises. It is proof to me. It gives me hope and contentment KNOWING that He is right there with me, giving me true happiness.
Does He always answer me immediately? No, but that is when I need to remember the times He has answered my prayers. (See my aforementioned keeping a list of answered prayers.) I may have to walk blindly for a while, trusting that He has a plan for my life.
He has a plan for yours too!
Think about this, if you knew the plan, you wouldn’t have to pray every day!
John 15: 10 & 11 (Jesus’ Words) “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, and that your JOY may be made FULL.” (My capitalization!)
He is in Control!
Susan
Please pray for: Colby's healing
Bonnie's healing of her tumor
Sandy's successful surgery (or I'm asking for a miraculous
healing if it is God's Will)
Miriam's upcoming surgery on her hip (Aug.14)
Nancy for a job
I think Joan was a typing error on my last
blog, but because the Lord doesn't make
mistakes, thank you for praying for her!
I prayed this morning as I went to get out my Bible and prayer journal, as I do each time I write. I asked the Lord to guide me as I write to Him and to you. I sat down near the computer, and checked my email. I noticed a subject headline from Oprah’s newsletter. It read, “What does it really take to be happy?” I didn’t read it. Actually, I thought I had unsubscribed from her newsletter some time ago. (I pray that in her spiritual journey, she will truly find Jesus Christ. I continue to pray for her.)
Then, I happened to turn to some of my notes from a sermon dated, November, 2008, it said, “Happiness depends largely on our circumstances, but joy is more of a quiet confidence in God and His promises. As you look at your own life, can you identify any sources of joy that have influenced you even when you weren’t happy?”
The answer I had written was, “Whenever I have prayed earnestly about something, and then found the answers in God’s Word and circumstances in my life.” Reflecting on that answer, I realize it was true then, and always has been true for me since becoming a child of God. I can’t think of a greater joy or thrill to know that God is speaking to me as an individual. Even though His words come from the Bible, written for all mankind, you know without a doubt the words that He led you to read at that moment are meant for you. So, often too, He uses outside sources to confirm it. A friend will say something, or you will read it somewhere else, the church sermon will bring it up, etc. However He chooses to communicate it, He causes His Spirit within you to recognize it is Him giving you the answer.
As I write to you the Lord is showing me that is the answer to Oprah’s question. True happiness is as our pastor stated, “...a quiet confidence in God and His promises.” When I experience the joy of His personal attention, it gives me confidence in God and His promises. It is proof to me. It gives me hope and contentment KNOWING that He is right there with me, giving me true happiness.
Does He always answer me immediately? No, but that is when I need to remember the times He has answered my prayers. (See my aforementioned keeping a list of answered prayers.) I may have to walk blindly for a while, trusting that He has a plan for my life.
He has a plan for yours too!
Think about this, if you knew the plan, you wouldn’t have to pray every day!
John 15: 10 & 11 (Jesus’ Words) “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, and that your JOY may be made FULL.” (My capitalization!)
He is in Control!
Susan
Please pray for: Colby's healing
Bonnie's healing of her tumor
Sandy's successful surgery (or I'm asking for a miraculous
healing if it is God's Will)
Miriam's upcoming surgery on her hip (Aug.14)
Nancy for a job
I think Joan was a typing error on my last
blog, but because the Lord doesn't make
mistakes, thank you for praying for her!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
More from Sandy
My sincere thanks for the prayers and replies to my posts. It's at times like these that I realize how wonderful people can be. I have been so blessed by the people that the Lord has chosen to put in my life. He has worked through each person to send me His love and care.
I have to admit that mornings are not an easy thing for me. I begin by lying in bed allowing negative thoughts to encompass me. This morning I woke up thinking about my daughter's first colonoscopy on Tuesday (July 19). I have been praying unceasingly to God that neither my son or daughter will ever have polyps - that their colons will be healthy. The Lord has told me that he will keep them safe and I have to hang on to that thought. So many times my faith fails me and that's when I get into some serious trouble. 2 Tim. 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. When I allow the worry and anxiety to overtake me - I have given in to the adversary. I try to think of bible verses and God's love at times like this morning, but being so human there are moments when panic sets in and stays a while. I'm sure you have heard that you can measure your faith by the distance you are from God. This is such a true statement. God does not distance Himself from me, it is I who distance myself from Him and allow the "spirit of fear" to overwhelm me.
Here's just a brief update on the events going on in my life involving the surgery. Yesterday I had a very busy day, so I actually wore an "ostomy" bag filled with water to see how it would feel after the surgery. Great news - I didn't even notice it for most of the day and it didn't leak. Having my colon removed - I will have to have a "stoma" (the end of the small intestine brought out through a hole in my abdomen) - which will empty waste into the ostomy bag. If all goes well this will only be for three months and then I will go back in for surgery to attach the small intestine to a "j-pouch" which will store the waste and empty it out the normal way. Hope this doesn't gross anybody out - It did me at first, but it's going to be my reality so I have to face it and I am not ashamed of having to do this. This means life for me and in a way a rebirth. God led me to have the colonoscopy and He is giving me more time to be on this earth. I pray that He will use me to love and care for others. I go Monday afternoon to an "ostomy" meeting at Kaiser Hospital. I'm hoping that there will be some others like me there that will share their experiences. I'm also waiting for results from a blood test to see if I carry a certain cancer gene. God's whispering voice tells me the results will be good.
Just want to end this with Phillipians 4:6-8 Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Prayer requests: Please pray for -
Colby's staff infection and for the steroids to work so he doesn't have to have a bone marrow transplant
Bonnie's healing
Joan's healing
Nancy that she gets the AAA job
Miriam's healing for her hip
I have to admit that mornings are not an easy thing for me. I begin by lying in bed allowing negative thoughts to encompass me. This morning I woke up thinking about my daughter's first colonoscopy on Tuesday (July 19). I have been praying unceasingly to God that neither my son or daughter will ever have polyps - that their colons will be healthy. The Lord has told me that he will keep them safe and I have to hang on to that thought. So many times my faith fails me and that's when I get into some serious trouble. 2 Tim. 1:7 - For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. When I allow the worry and anxiety to overtake me - I have given in to the adversary. I try to think of bible verses and God's love at times like this morning, but being so human there are moments when panic sets in and stays a while. I'm sure you have heard that you can measure your faith by the distance you are from God. This is such a true statement. God does not distance Himself from me, it is I who distance myself from Him and allow the "spirit of fear" to overwhelm me.
Here's just a brief update on the events going on in my life involving the surgery. Yesterday I had a very busy day, so I actually wore an "ostomy" bag filled with water to see how it would feel after the surgery. Great news - I didn't even notice it for most of the day and it didn't leak. Having my colon removed - I will have to have a "stoma" (the end of the small intestine brought out through a hole in my abdomen) - which will empty waste into the ostomy bag. If all goes well this will only be for three months and then I will go back in for surgery to attach the small intestine to a "j-pouch" which will store the waste and empty it out the normal way. Hope this doesn't gross anybody out - It did me at first, but it's going to be my reality so I have to face it and I am not ashamed of having to do this. This means life for me and in a way a rebirth. God led me to have the colonoscopy and He is giving me more time to be on this earth. I pray that He will use me to love and care for others. I go Monday afternoon to an "ostomy" meeting at Kaiser Hospital. I'm hoping that there will be some others like me there that will share their experiences. I'm also waiting for results from a blood test to see if I carry a certain cancer gene. God's whispering voice tells me the results will be good.
Just want to end this with Phillipians 4:6-8 Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Prayer requests: Please pray for -
Colby's staff infection and for the steroids to work so he doesn't have to have a bone marrow transplant
Bonnie's healing
Joan's healing
Nancy that she gets the AAA job
Miriam's healing for her hip
Friday, July 16, 2010
My Wilderness
First, I would like to say, “THANK YOU”, to Sandy for her willingness to open her heart up and bare her soul. I know we will all continue to be blessed by her blogs. It will be exciting to see how the Lord uses Sandy’s witness in the future! Please continue to lift her up to the Lord in your prayers. (Also, a huge "THANK YOU" to those who took the time to write on the blog. Your words have touched my heart.)
In my last blog, I shared with you the wonderful miracles of how our Lord led me to salvation. I think it is also important to tell you the sad fact that just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, forgetting all of God’s incredible miracles, I did too.
During my many years of wandering misguidedly in life, I hurt many loved ones. I have since asked the Lord and my loved ones for forgiveness. I know the Lord has forgiven me, and amazingly, so have my family and friends.
Forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences. Unfortunately, those don’t suddenly vanish upon forgiveness. The consequences of my sins and disobedience still pop up in my life. I am not bitter about this, I did it to myself. It is a constant reminder of my need to look to Him. At the same time, however, the Lord has shown me His great love and blessings in so many ways, especially with the love of those same family members and friends!
I know this for sure, Jesus said, “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s Hand.” (John 10:29) Yes, I wandered and sinned, but He delivered me out of my wilderness! I'm still not perfect by any means, but I know I'm right there in my Father's Hand!
Praising His Holy Name!
Susan
Prayer requests: Please continue to pray:
for Bonnie's healing!
for Jean's healing!
for Nancy that she gets the AAA job!
for Miriam's healing for Miriam's hip!
In my last blog, I shared with you the wonderful miracles of how our Lord led me to salvation. I think it is also important to tell you the sad fact that just as the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, forgetting all of God’s incredible miracles, I did too.
During my many years of wandering misguidedly in life, I hurt many loved ones. I have since asked the Lord and my loved ones for forgiveness. I know the Lord has forgiven me, and amazingly, so have my family and friends.
Forgiveness does not mean there will not be consequences. Unfortunately, those don’t suddenly vanish upon forgiveness. The consequences of my sins and disobedience still pop up in my life. I am not bitter about this, I did it to myself. It is a constant reminder of my need to look to Him. At the same time, however, the Lord has shown me His great love and blessings in so many ways, especially with the love of those same family members and friends!
I know this for sure, Jesus said, “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s Hand.” (John 10:29) Yes, I wandered and sinned, but He delivered me out of my wilderness! I'm still not perfect by any means, but I know I'm right there in my Father's Hand!
Praising His Holy Name!
Susan
Prayer requests: Please continue to pray:
for Bonnie's healing!
for Jean's healing!
for Nancy that she gets the AAA job!
for Miriam's healing for Miriam's hip!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
He is my lifeline
I will attempt to tell you about how I know that God is my lifeline. It began the day I wandered into a pet shop with my friend. The cutest little puppy was in a cage jumping up and down looking right at me with those adorable "puppy" eyes. Never would I have thought about going into a pet shop to buy a dog. After all, I already had two dogs, four cats, one chicken, one donkey, and two horses. However, I could not get the image of that little puppy out of my mind - I wanted him to go to a home where he would be loved and cared for. What better home for him than my home where I knew that I would love and care for him. I went home and told my husband maybe thinking he would agree to the purchase of this little guy. Well he loves animals too, so he insisted that I go the next day and bring him home - which is exactly what I did. Within two weeks of bringing that little guy home, he developed kennel cough which turned into pneumonia. One night I noticed that he was having problems breathing - so at midnight my husband and I took him to an emergency veterinarian. He recovered from the kennel cough and pneumonia just in time to break his "elbow" and he needed to have a pin to hold the bone together which required surgery. Being the stress case that I am and loving animals like I do, I developed shingles from the anxiety and worry I had for this adorable little Papillon puppy. He got better but I was a nervous wreck.
To make a long story short - the shingles brought me to the doctor - the nurse checking me out looked at my records and asked why I had not sent in a stool sample that Kaiser mails out to its patients if he/she has never had a colonoscopy. I told her I had thrown the kit away, so she sent me home with another one and I promised her I would send it back to the hospital. Two weeks later I got a call that the sample was positive which required a colonoscopy. I had no symptoms of any problem and I'm still very healthy to this day, but the colonoscopy revealed that my colon had hundreds of polyps - some large, some medium and some small - from the beginning to the end of it. I awoke after the colonoscopy to hear the doctor tell me I would need surgery. Later I was to find out that the surgery was to remove my entire colon.
I cannot begin to tell you about the fear that this news brought. I couldn't believe it! Had the doctor mistaken my colon for someone else's? Of course not - it was my colon and my colon is very diseased with polyps which are considered pre-cancer. I don't have cancer, but each and every polyp is a waiting time bomb.
This hit me hard and happened on May 11, 2010. Nothing has ever had a more devastating impact upon me than the thought of losing my colon and the impending surgery. I always thought the worst day of my life was the day my Mother died, but when I realized that a very important part of my body would be cut away, I was frightened beyond belief. I know that God can use our trials and turn them into blessings, but I'm still facing alot of unknowns as well as my very first surgery and I have days that are almost unbearable. Nevertheless, I have been blessed throughout this experience. Never have I been closer to the Lord than I have been the past few months. He is strong for me when I am oh so weak. He is the meaning of peace in the middle of this dark and threatening storm. He is teaching me all about trust, faith and strength through this experience. I am His and I am hanging onto the lifeline He has provided for me with all my heart and soul. His word has given me so much strength and shown me so much love. The Lord is my sheperd - I shall not want.
I want to say more, but another time.
To make a long story short - the shingles brought me to the doctor - the nurse checking me out looked at my records and asked why I had not sent in a stool sample that Kaiser mails out to its patients if he/she has never had a colonoscopy. I told her I had thrown the kit away, so she sent me home with another one and I promised her I would send it back to the hospital. Two weeks later I got a call that the sample was positive which required a colonoscopy. I had no symptoms of any problem and I'm still very healthy to this day, but the colonoscopy revealed that my colon had hundreds of polyps - some large, some medium and some small - from the beginning to the end of it. I awoke after the colonoscopy to hear the doctor tell me I would need surgery. Later I was to find out that the surgery was to remove my entire colon.
I cannot begin to tell you about the fear that this news brought. I couldn't believe it! Had the doctor mistaken my colon for someone else's? Of course not - it was my colon and my colon is very diseased with polyps which are considered pre-cancer. I don't have cancer, but each and every polyp is a waiting time bomb.
This hit me hard and happened on May 11, 2010. Nothing has ever had a more devastating impact upon me than the thought of losing my colon and the impending surgery. I always thought the worst day of my life was the day my Mother died, but when I realized that a very important part of my body would be cut away, I was frightened beyond belief. I know that God can use our trials and turn them into blessings, but I'm still facing alot of unknowns as well as my very first surgery and I have days that are almost unbearable. Nevertheless, I have been blessed throughout this experience. Never have I been closer to the Lord than I have been the past few months. He is strong for me when I am oh so weak. He is the meaning of peace in the middle of this dark and threatening storm. He is teaching me all about trust, faith and strength through this experience. I am His and I am hanging onto the lifeline He has provided for me with all my heart and soul. His word has given me so much strength and shown me so much love. The Lord is my sheperd - I shall not want.
I want to say more, but another time.
Monday, July 12, 2010
He Is in control
Hi everyone - my name is Sandy and I have known Susan for what seems like most of my life. She has asked me to join her blog.
I'm not sure what I am doing, so this is first of all just a test.
I do want to say that God's strength is completed in my weakness. If I didn't know Him - I would have to be in a padded room just about now. However, that is not the case and He means more to me than anything on this earth. I am living a "life lesson" through the Lord at this time and despite how I sometimes feel, God continues to love and care for me.
I won't go into details right now, but I am facing "major" surgery. I have experienced despair, fear, anxiety, stress and intense worry over this surgery since May. BUT - the Lord has given me strength, hope, faith, trust and courage - sometimes in His word and sometimes through the wonderful people that I call friends and even strangers. This evening I went to my church's chapel with a dear friend and I was prayed for and anointed with oil. I cannot tell you the peace that this brought to me. God does love our prayers and He hears each and every one of them. I am so blessed to know Him. Although my faith is the size of a grain of mustard seed - it counts with our Lord.
I will share more about my story later.
I'm not sure what I am doing, so this is first of all just a test.
I do want to say that God's strength is completed in my weakness. If I didn't know Him - I would have to be in a padded room just about now. However, that is not the case and He means more to me than anything on this earth. I am living a "life lesson" through the Lord at this time and despite how I sometimes feel, God continues to love and care for me.
I won't go into details right now, but I am facing "major" surgery. I have experienced despair, fear, anxiety, stress and intense worry over this surgery since May. BUT - the Lord has given me strength, hope, faith, trust and courage - sometimes in His word and sometimes through the wonderful people that I call friends and even strangers. This evening I went to my church's chapel with a dear friend and I was prayed for and anointed with oil. I cannot tell you the peace that this brought to me. God does love our prayers and He hears each and every one of them. I am so blessed to know Him. Although my faith is the size of a grain of mustard seed - it counts with our Lord.
I will share more about my story later.
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