From Sandy -
I went to the attorney day before yesterday and paid $10,000 for his assistance in applying for MediCal. I am afraid I went in trembling and broke down and cried. It was traumatic for me to see our money go so quickly for this dire need that we have found ourselves in. The day before that - last Tuesday - I wrote a check for $2662 for income taxes that we owe. I have never had to worry about finances. My husband Ron always took care of everything. Now I find that I have everything in my lap so to speak.
I have been praying for the Lord to hold my hand and lead me during this time of stress and anxiety. I seek his wisdom and ask for it on a daily basis. Yesterday I spent hours getting paperwork together and invoices for the attorney. Thank the Good Lord I was able to find everything I needed (which was alot) and take it to the attorney. They are so nice in that office and immediately I felt stress falling off of me. Everything is in the attorney's hands and he will file for MediCal for Ron and I. The Lord is blessing me throughout this process because I went away from the office feeling much relieved and thanking God for His hand in all of this.
I know that $10,000 is alot of money (at least for me). But I have to stress that it is only money and you can't take it with you. The Lord made it possible for us to have this money saved up and it was for a rainy day - the rainy day is here and the money was there for us to use.
Ron is progressing. Today he is going to try to eat lunch (for the first time since in the hospital). He has been fed by a Gtube in his stomach. He is actually doing exercises for his legs and he uses a device to exercise his lungs. He wasn't trying for the longest time and now he is definitely making an attempt to get better. This in itself is a prayer answered by God.
I just want to sum this all up by saying that we all know that God can do things - we have to exercise our faith and know that God will do these things for us. We may have to be very very patient, but God does answer and we can definitely believe that God will take care of our stresses and anxieties - we just have to ask in prayer for His devine help and know that He definitely will be there for us. He may not do things the way we want them done - but His ways are so much higher than ours and He does go before us so He knows what is out there and can take care of it before harm is done.
He will silently plan for us - wait on the faithfulness of God.
Just a footnote to say getting these feelings out here in words helps me. I read them and it strengthens my faith knowing how God continues to be my strength and my shield.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Faith - Patience - Hope
From Sandy -
I have had to lean so heavily on the Lord lately. I have to admit I am scared and anxious right now about tomorrow. My faith has grown - but I still have to grow even stronger in my trust and faith of God.
I go to see the attorney tomorrow regarding MediCal - which I will have to file for in order to be able to keep Ron in Rehab at Reche Canyon. MediCal is a scary thing because once I file - my possessions and earnings are not my own - they will belong to the state of California. We have always paid our bills and never expected any handouts. Yet - here we are expecting a handout from the great state of California to keep Ron in Rehab over the first 100 days (of which my medical insurance and medicare will pay). Life is a funny thing - you never know where it will lead you. Never in a million years would I have pictured Ron and I in this predicament. Yet - here we are.
I know that Ron will come home. I know that the Lord is mending Ron even as I write this post. I know that the Lord loves Ron and knows him from the inside out. He is Ron's creator and He can heal Ron completely. I have had to turn Ron over to the Lord. I can be a control freak sometimes and think that I can fix everything. I cannot fix Ron. That is between God and Ron. I can ask the Lord to heal Ron which I have done a multitude of times each and every day. Throughout all of this - my surgery and Ron's recovery - I have had to have patience, knowing that faith and hope in the Lord God Almighty will bring results in His time and they will be miraculous indeed!
I am being blessed more and more each day as I come to know the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost in a very personal and life changing way. Nothing matters more than knowing that the Lord is my Savior and He loves me and all of us more than we can ever know!!!
I have had to lean so heavily on the Lord lately. I have to admit I am scared and anxious right now about tomorrow. My faith has grown - but I still have to grow even stronger in my trust and faith of God.
I go to see the attorney tomorrow regarding MediCal - which I will have to file for in order to be able to keep Ron in Rehab at Reche Canyon. MediCal is a scary thing because once I file - my possessions and earnings are not my own - they will belong to the state of California. We have always paid our bills and never expected any handouts. Yet - here we are expecting a handout from the great state of California to keep Ron in Rehab over the first 100 days (of which my medical insurance and medicare will pay). Life is a funny thing - you never know where it will lead you. Never in a million years would I have pictured Ron and I in this predicament. Yet - here we are.
I know that Ron will come home. I know that the Lord is mending Ron even as I write this post. I know that the Lord loves Ron and knows him from the inside out. He is Ron's creator and He can heal Ron completely. I have had to turn Ron over to the Lord. I can be a control freak sometimes and think that I can fix everything. I cannot fix Ron. That is between God and Ron. I can ask the Lord to heal Ron which I have done a multitude of times each and every day. Throughout all of this - my surgery and Ron's recovery - I have had to have patience, knowing that faith and hope in the Lord God Almighty will bring results in His time and they will be miraculous indeed!
I am being blessed more and more each day as I come to know the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost in a very personal and life changing way. Nothing matters more than knowing that the Lord is my Savior and He loves me and all of us more than we can ever know!!!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Lord maketh the storm a calm
From Sandy -
I feel like I have experienced several storms over the past 13 months. However, I am still here - healthy and well - and leaning forever on the Lord.
I was thumbing through my Bible and came upon these verses in the book of Psalms (which I do love). Psalm 107, vs. 27-29 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end. Then, they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Wow - these verses in the book of Psalms reached right out and grabbed me. I have literally reeled to and fro and staggered - I have been at my wit's end more than once. I too have cried unto the Lord in my trouble - He has brought me out of so many distresses. Even now He calms the storm for me and quiets the fears and anxieties.
I am still trusting the Lord to heal Ron. Ron is still on the respirator and feeding tube. However, he has passed the swallowing test so he will begin to be introduced to food by mouth. He has gotten stronger in his legs and today took 50 steps with the help of the physical therapist. I am constantly asking Jesus to be Ron's respirator instead of the machine. I have actually pictured myself bowed down at the feet of Jesus - touching his robe and asking him to touch and heal Ron.
I also have asked for the Lord's wisdom and guidance as I have to make so many financial decisions by myself. I will have to file for Medi Cal - Ron's bill for staying in the Rehab. center is $20,000 a month. I'm afraid we just can't afford that. I will see an attorney on Wednesday and he will be able to help me with the financial part of keeping Ron in Rehab.
I would just like to ask those who choose to - to pray that we can keep our home and pay the monthly bills. MediCal will ask for more than half of our income and that won't be enough to stay in our home. I know that the Lord - He it is that doth go before me; He is with me; He will not fail me nor forsake me; I will fear not nor be dismayed. I have to turn all the worries over to God. I have cried unto the Lord and He hears me. He will calm this storm as He has done so many times before.
I feel like I have experienced several storms over the past 13 months. However, I am still here - healthy and well - and leaning forever on the Lord.
I was thumbing through my Bible and came upon these verses in the book of Psalms (which I do love). Psalm 107, vs. 27-29 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end. Then, they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses. He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Wow - these verses in the book of Psalms reached right out and grabbed me. I have literally reeled to and fro and staggered - I have been at my wit's end more than once. I too have cried unto the Lord in my trouble - He has brought me out of so many distresses. Even now He calms the storm for me and quiets the fears and anxieties.
I am still trusting the Lord to heal Ron. Ron is still on the respirator and feeding tube. However, he has passed the swallowing test so he will begin to be introduced to food by mouth. He has gotten stronger in his legs and today took 50 steps with the help of the physical therapist. I am constantly asking Jesus to be Ron's respirator instead of the machine. I have actually pictured myself bowed down at the feet of Jesus - touching his robe and asking him to touch and heal Ron.
I also have asked for the Lord's wisdom and guidance as I have to make so many financial decisions by myself. I will have to file for Medi Cal - Ron's bill for staying in the Rehab. center is $20,000 a month. I'm afraid we just can't afford that. I will see an attorney on Wednesday and he will be able to help me with the financial part of keeping Ron in Rehab.
I would just like to ask those who choose to - to pray that we can keep our home and pay the monthly bills. MediCal will ask for more than half of our income and that won't be enough to stay in our home. I know that the Lord - He it is that doth go before me; He is with me; He will not fail me nor forsake me; I will fear not nor be dismayed. I have to turn all the worries over to God. I have cried unto the Lord and He hears me. He will calm this storm as He has done so many times before.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The Lord is my Strength and My Shield
From Sandy -
Found out last night that Ron has pneumonia. The pneumonia is not bad, and he is on a very strong antibiotic, so this too shall pass. This has been such a roller coaster ride. Ron can speak when they put a speaking valve on his trach and that has been such a blessing. The nurses don't leave it on all the time, but put it on when he has visitors. Ron tells me that he is scared. He has gone through so many setbacks after his open heart surgery - but he is definitely better. I know that the Lord wants us to be patient. His timing is not ours. I know beyond all doubt that He will heal Ron and bring him home. As to how long that will take - I have no idea. Everytime there are two steps forward - there is a step backward. Ron was unable to communicate or even know who he was talking to 4 weeks ago - today he has clarity of mind and is watching some news on t.v. He also told me today that sometimes he gets hungry. In my mind, that is totally good news and a step forward.
I do get disappointed when I find out that Ron is not progressing the way I think he should. But I know that not only is the Lord my strength and shield - He is there taking care of Ron too. I will not lose hope and faith. I tell Ron not to lose it either. We just have to believe that the Lord has heard our prayers and will answer them in His own way and time.
I praise the Lord for giving me all the wonderful verses from the Bible to sustain me during this hard time in my life. The Bible has proven to be my strength, hope, faith, courage, shield, fortress, joy, and most of all peace and love.
Found out last night that Ron has pneumonia. The pneumonia is not bad, and he is on a very strong antibiotic, so this too shall pass. This has been such a roller coaster ride. Ron can speak when they put a speaking valve on his trach and that has been such a blessing. The nurses don't leave it on all the time, but put it on when he has visitors. Ron tells me that he is scared. He has gone through so many setbacks after his open heart surgery - but he is definitely better. I know that the Lord wants us to be patient. His timing is not ours. I know beyond all doubt that He will heal Ron and bring him home. As to how long that will take - I have no idea. Everytime there are two steps forward - there is a step backward. Ron was unable to communicate or even know who he was talking to 4 weeks ago - today he has clarity of mind and is watching some news on t.v. He also told me today that sometimes he gets hungry. In my mind, that is totally good news and a step forward.
I do get disappointed when I find out that Ron is not progressing the way I think he should. But I know that not only is the Lord my strength and shield - He is there taking care of Ron too. I will not lose hope and faith. I tell Ron not to lose it either. We just have to believe that the Lord has heard our prayers and will answer them in His own way and time.
I praise the Lord for giving me all the wonderful verses from the Bible to sustain me during this hard time in my life. The Bible has proven to be my strength, hope, faith, courage, shield, fortress, joy, and most of all peace and love.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The Lord Knows the Future and has planned it out for us
Hi again - me, Sandy
Just wanted to talk about how comforting it is for me to know that the Lord knows the future for me and He is there to make the path tried and true. I forget sometimes how great the Lord really is. He does know each of our futures and He has planned out our lives. It's true that He gives us free will, but if we trust our will to Him - our future will be blessed with peace and joy.
I have a very uncertain future at this time. That's why it is so important for me to know that the Lord - He it is that goes before me. He knows the future for me and I am definitely holding His hand througout the ordeal I am going through. He will not fail me nor forsake me. I know He is here, and in the future and He knows exactly what will be. I am trusting Him with my husband, myself, and our home and finances. I know that God does make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see - He will make a way for me. I have faith and hope for each new day and know that the Lord God Almighty is in my future, as well as the present and the past.
My husband Ron is making a very slow recovery - He's going forward - that's what matters. I will have to apply for Medi Cal because the cost of Ron being in a Rehab Facility with a ventilator and feeding tube is $20,000 per month. Again, I trust the Lord and know that He will provide through thick and thin. I have never ever been so close to God in my entire life. I guess He thought it was about time He sat me down and taught me some valuable lessons. The lessons I am learning and the faith that has been given to me - I am truly not worthy. It is a miracle in my eyes that the Lord God Almighty can even love a sinner such as I am. And, yet he does. I feel His love every day in every way. I know He hears my prayers and He is answering them. Maybe not as quickly as I would have Him answer them - BUT He is answering my prayers.!!!
How blessed I am to know my Lord and Savior and How blessed I am to be loved by Him. He even has the time to hear my prayers. I am truly blessed and honored to be one of his "sheep".
Just wanted to talk about how comforting it is for me to know that the Lord knows the future for me and He is there to make the path tried and true. I forget sometimes how great the Lord really is. He does know each of our futures and He has planned out our lives. It's true that He gives us free will, but if we trust our will to Him - our future will be blessed with peace and joy.
I have a very uncertain future at this time. That's why it is so important for me to know that the Lord - He it is that goes before me. He knows the future for me and I am definitely holding His hand througout the ordeal I am going through. He will not fail me nor forsake me. I know He is here, and in the future and He knows exactly what will be. I am trusting Him with my husband, myself, and our home and finances. I know that God does make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see - He will make a way for me. I have faith and hope for each new day and know that the Lord God Almighty is in my future, as well as the present and the past.
My husband Ron is making a very slow recovery - He's going forward - that's what matters. I will have to apply for Medi Cal because the cost of Ron being in a Rehab Facility with a ventilator and feeding tube is $20,000 per month. Again, I trust the Lord and know that He will provide through thick and thin. I have never ever been so close to God in my entire life. I guess He thought it was about time He sat me down and taught me some valuable lessons. The lessons I am learning and the faith that has been given to me - I am truly not worthy. It is a miracle in my eyes that the Lord God Almighty can even love a sinner such as I am. And, yet he does. I feel His love every day in every way. I know He hears my prayers and He is answering them. Maybe not as quickly as I would have Him answer them - BUT He is answering my prayers.!!!
How blessed I am to know my Lord and Savior and How blessed I am to be loved by Him. He even has the time to hear my prayers. I am truly blessed and honored to be one of his "sheep".
Sunday, February 27, 2011
His grace is sufficient for us
Hello - it's me, Sandy -
Sorry it's been so long since I have posted anything. My life has been in turmoil to say the least. My husband, Ron has been to "hell" and back with his illness and everywhere he has been, I have been. His experience of course was major illness which is pretty bad, but mine has been mental and all I can say is that it's been a road I would never choose to go down again. The Lord has heard me cry for him many and many a time during these times of trial and tribulation.
I chose the title "His grace is sufficient for us" because it really is. I have to be honest and tell you that there have been times that I thought the Lord was too busy to help me out. I have struggled and worried and stressed over so many things. My husband's health, finances, taxes, bills, gasoline prices, everything. I know and I mean I do really know that the Lord will see my husband and I through all of this. In Deuteronomy 31:8 the Bible says And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee nor forsake thee; fear not neither be dismayed" . This verse means everything to me - I have memorized it and recall it when I get fearful and anxious. God does go before us. He knows the beginning from the end. He in due time will save us from our tribulations. He is with us and he won't forsake us. How wonderful is that? He doesn't want us to fear or be dismayed because if we know Him and trust Him, He will take care of us.
I have had so many opportunities lately to exercise faith. My faith is certainly not as strong as it should or could be but I do have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is strong and I can always lean on Him. In the wee hours of the morning when there is no one to talk to - I can go before the Lord and experience a perfect peace beyond all understanding. His love is unfailing - His grace is sufficient for us. We go through these trials, but we can let Him carry our burdens.
My husband is in a rehab center now. He has come back from the doors of death twice within the last two months. Today he was throwing up and I got very upset about it. Tonight he is doing better. The Lord's grace is sufficient for my husband, Ron. Still I believe that God didn't bring him this far to let us lose him. I know that the Lord is working and breathing the breath of life and strength back into Ron's body.
P.S. Any prayers sent Ron's way would be greatly appreciated. He is still on a ventilator and gets very fearful and stressed when they try to wean him off of it. I have asked God to breathe in Ron the breath of life to his lungs. Prayers for Ron's lungs would be most appreciated and would be a huge blessing to him as well as me.
Sorry it's been so long since I have posted anything. My life has been in turmoil to say the least. My husband, Ron has been to "hell" and back with his illness and everywhere he has been, I have been. His experience of course was major illness which is pretty bad, but mine has been mental and all I can say is that it's been a road I would never choose to go down again. The Lord has heard me cry for him many and many a time during these times of trial and tribulation.
I chose the title "His grace is sufficient for us" because it really is. I have to be honest and tell you that there have been times that I thought the Lord was too busy to help me out. I have struggled and worried and stressed over so many things. My husband's health, finances, taxes, bills, gasoline prices, everything. I know and I mean I do really know that the Lord will see my husband and I through all of this. In Deuteronomy 31:8 the Bible says And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee nor forsake thee; fear not neither be dismayed" . This verse means everything to me - I have memorized it and recall it when I get fearful and anxious. God does go before us. He knows the beginning from the end. He in due time will save us from our tribulations. He is with us and he won't forsake us. How wonderful is that? He doesn't want us to fear or be dismayed because if we know Him and trust Him, He will take care of us.
I have had so many opportunities lately to exercise faith. My faith is certainly not as strong as it should or could be but I do have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is strong and I can always lean on Him. In the wee hours of the morning when there is no one to talk to - I can go before the Lord and experience a perfect peace beyond all understanding. His love is unfailing - His grace is sufficient for us. We go through these trials, but we can let Him carry our burdens.
My husband is in a rehab center now. He has come back from the doors of death twice within the last two months. Today he was throwing up and I got very upset about it. Tonight he is doing better. The Lord's grace is sufficient for my husband, Ron. Still I believe that God didn't bring him this far to let us lose him. I know that the Lord is working and breathing the breath of life and strength back into Ron's body.
P.S. Any prayers sent Ron's way would be greatly appreciated. He is still on a ventilator and gets very fearful and stressed when they try to wean him off of it. I have asked God to breathe in Ron the breath of life to his lungs. Prayers for Ron's lungs would be most appreciated and would be a huge blessing to him as well as me.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Faith and Just Believing
From Sandy -
Hi everyone - just wanted to let you know that I am still here. I have had so many trials and tribulations within the past year and yet I praise the Lord.
As I wrote in a prior post, my husband, Ron, had a major heart attack and has been in Critical Care. He had surgery on December 23 and has been in Critical Care until today. Today he went to a "step down" unit. By "step down" I mean a unit where he does not have a nurse that is constantly assigned to him. He has improved, but the improvement has been as slow as a snail's pace. He had a tracheostomy a week ago so that he did not have to have a tube through his mouth and down his throat. He is still however on a ventilator. Two weeks ago he could move no appendages. Today he is moving his hands, feet, and fingers as well as his arms. Just little gains, but at least he is going forward. I trust in the Lord to heal him completely. It will take as long as it takes and I have to keep the faith and have lots and lots of patience.
I have met many people in the hospital while Ron has been there. One of them I met recently is a vibrant woman whose husband is in Critical Care for pneumonia. She is such a positive person and urged me to see my doctor because I was so stressed. She always gives me a hug and always tells me to look on the "bright" side. To me, she is one of God's angels sent to minister onto me.
I have been so worried about our finances. Ron has always taken care of the bills and the taxes. Now, all of a sudden everything is thrown into my court. Not only that, but if Ron is put into Long Term Care - after the first 100 days - I am responsible for the bill. The bill for one month's stay in Long Term Care for a person on a ventilator would be $6,000 or more. Therefore I will have to turn to Medi Cal if his stay is longer than 100 days. Medi Cal will take more than half of my husband's retirement and also take any assets after I expire. I don't know how I am going to make it - but I can tell you this - the Lord will show me the way. He can make a way where there seems to be no way. I quote the verse Deuteronomy 31:8 "And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed" - and then in Psalms 119:49,50 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction for thy word hath quickened me."
The Lord spoke to me through his word and I take comfort, hope, faith, courage, and peace because of what he has spoken to me.
Hi everyone - just wanted to let you know that I am still here. I have had so many trials and tribulations within the past year and yet I praise the Lord.
As I wrote in a prior post, my husband, Ron, had a major heart attack and has been in Critical Care. He had surgery on December 23 and has been in Critical Care until today. Today he went to a "step down" unit. By "step down" I mean a unit where he does not have a nurse that is constantly assigned to him. He has improved, but the improvement has been as slow as a snail's pace. He had a tracheostomy a week ago so that he did not have to have a tube through his mouth and down his throat. He is still however on a ventilator. Two weeks ago he could move no appendages. Today he is moving his hands, feet, and fingers as well as his arms. Just little gains, but at least he is going forward. I trust in the Lord to heal him completely. It will take as long as it takes and I have to keep the faith and have lots and lots of patience.
I have met many people in the hospital while Ron has been there. One of them I met recently is a vibrant woman whose husband is in Critical Care for pneumonia. She is such a positive person and urged me to see my doctor because I was so stressed. She always gives me a hug and always tells me to look on the "bright" side. To me, she is one of God's angels sent to minister onto me.
I have been so worried about our finances. Ron has always taken care of the bills and the taxes. Now, all of a sudden everything is thrown into my court. Not only that, but if Ron is put into Long Term Care - after the first 100 days - I am responsible for the bill. The bill for one month's stay in Long Term Care for a person on a ventilator would be $6,000 or more. Therefore I will have to turn to Medi Cal if his stay is longer than 100 days. Medi Cal will take more than half of my husband's retirement and also take any assets after I expire. I don't know how I am going to make it - but I can tell you this - the Lord will show me the way. He can make a way where there seems to be no way. I quote the verse Deuteronomy 31:8 "And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed" - and then in Psalms 119:49,50 Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. This is my comfort in my affliction for thy word hath quickened me."
The Lord spoke to me through his word and I take comfort, hope, faith, courage, and peace because of what he has spoken to me.
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