From Sandy -
Hello everyone - I have some sad news to report today. Gene passed away this morning. Susan was able to hold him in her arms during his last moments. It breaks my heart to have to give you this news but I know that it has been a nightmare for Susan and now she can get on with her own life. Please pray extra hard for Susan right now. Hopefully the worst is over but I know that grieving will be part of her life for a while. That's all I have to say today. Please remember Gene and send your prayers for Susan!!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Just have to share
From Sandy -
Today I had an appointment with the ostomy nurse. She was going to assist me with putting a bag on me that would stay. My husband and I traveled 1 mile and my bag started leaking. We had to turn around and go back home. Once there, it took me one hour to get another back on - after already going through two. I was sitting in my bathroom crying and actually cried out for the Lord to help me. I was desperate and had to get to the hospital to see the nurse. Fortunately I was able to call and let them know I would be late. They accommodated me once I got there and I am hoping and praying that a new bag the nurse put on me will work. So far so good, but I'm afraid to say that. The bag is shaped better to my body and seems to be holding its own. I actually got down on my hands and knees and placed my body and the bag onto God.
I have been fighting despair over this whole thing but I know I am not alone. I know the Lord is with me and He will make it better. I asked the ostomy nurse if others in my situation ever felt so desperate and she told me "They always ask me when they will get their lives back. And, they tell me that their life ended after the surgery". I guess misery loves company because it did help to hear others were in the same desperate situation I was in. I know I have to be patient and will remember that "delay is not denial".
Self pity takes over sometimes and I just want to lie down and cry my eyes out. Thank God these moments don't last too long and I am able to put "me" aside and stop thinking about the "poor me". I know this will get better and I know that the Lord is with me. Good thing I didn't know all I would have to go through before I had the surgery. I think I would have definitely thought twice about it.
Well, good night to all - have a blessed tomorrow.
Today I had an appointment with the ostomy nurse. She was going to assist me with putting a bag on me that would stay. My husband and I traveled 1 mile and my bag started leaking. We had to turn around and go back home. Once there, it took me one hour to get another back on - after already going through two. I was sitting in my bathroom crying and actually cried out for the Lord to help me. I was desperate and had to get to the hospital to see the nurse. Fortunately I was able to call and let them know I would be late. They accommodated me once I got there and I am hoping and praying that a new bag the nurse put on me will work. So far so good, but I'm afraid to say that. The bag is shaped better to my body and seems to be holding its own. I actually got down on my hands and knees and placed my body and the bag onto God.
I have been fighting despair over this whole thing but I know I am not alone. I know the Lord is with me and He will make it better. I asked the ostomy nurse if others in my situation ever felt so desperate and she told me "They always ask me when they will get their lives back. And, they tell me that their life ended after the surgery". I guess misery loves company because it did help to hear others were in the same desperate situation I was in. I know I have to be patient and will remember that "delay is not denial".
Self pity takes over sometimes and I just want to lie down and cry my eyes out. Thank God these moments don't last too long and I am able to put "me" aside and stop thinking about the "poor me". I know this will get better and I know that the Lord is with me. Good thing I didn't know all I would have to go through before I had the surgery. I think I would have definitely thought twice about it.
Well, good night to all - have a blessed tomorrow.
Trials and struggles
From Sandy-
Just wanted to let everyone know I have not heard anything further about Susan and Gene. Please pray for them - I can't imagine the struggle that both of them are going through. Susan is a Christian, so I know that the Lord is with her and seeing her through whatever may happen.
I don't have much to say today about myself. Mainly I want to keep this blog active for Susan.
Every day is a struggle for me, and although I don't have much help - the Lord is my helper. He sustains me and encourages me and gives me the strength to meet every trial. I find it so hard not to really be able to leave the house because of my "leaky" bag. I know that this too shall pass, but I'm ready for it to pass like right now. I'm not used to being home bound, but sometimes the Lord puts us in places to teach us. I'm learning patience which I was always short of. I have to be patient with myself as I take care of myself - by hurrying and being impatient, it only makes matters worse.
Both my husband and daughter have terrible colds and they are my "caretakers". They have not felt well enough to take care of themselves, let alone me. You talk about a perfect storm - I feel sometimes that I am in the midst of it. I am getting a scratchy throat, so I hope and pray I don't come down with what they have. If I have to cough or sneeze, it will kill my abdomen.
Sometimes I start panicking about catching cold, or the surgery to fail, or whatever fears I can conjure up. Tonight was one of those experiences. The way I took care of it was to stop everything and ask the Lord for help. Amazing how that helps. I immediately started calming down.
That's all for now. When I hear anything from Susan and will post it here unless she finds the time to do it herself. For those interested I will keep you updated on my progress.
Just wanted to let everyone know I have not heard anything further about Susan and Gene. Please pray for them - I can't imagine the struggle that both of them are going through. Susan is a Christian, so I know that the Lord is with her and seeing her through whatever may happen.
I don't have much to say today about myself. Mainly I want to keep this blog active for Susan.
Every day is a struggle for me, and although I don't have much help - the Lord is my helper. He sustains me and encourages me and gives me the strength to meet every trial. I find it so hard not to really be able to leave the house because of my "leaky" bag. I know that this too shall pass, but I'm ready for it to pass like right now. I'm not used to being home bound, but sometimes the Lord puts us in places to teach us. I'm learning patience which I was always short of. I have to be patient with myself as I take care of myself - by hurrying and being impatient, it only makes matters worse.
Both my husband and daughter have terrible colds and they are my "caretakers". They have not felt well enough to take care of themselves, let alone me. You talk about a perfect storm - I feel sometimes that I am in the midst of it. I am getting a scratchy throat, so I hope and pray I don't come down with what they have. If I have to cough or sneeze, it will kill my abdomen.
Sometimes I start panicking about catching cold, or the surgery to fail, or whatever fears I can conjure up. Tonight was one of those experiences. The way I took care of it was to stop everything and ask the Lord for help. Amazing how that helps. I immediately started calming down.
That's all for now. When I hear anything from Susan and will post it here unless she finds the time to do it herself. For those interested I will keep you updated on my progress.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Trials are not easy but God sees us through them
From Sandy -
Just got an update on Susan's husband Gene. It's not good. He may not make it until tomorrow morning. Please pray for both Susan and Gene. Susan needs God's love and strength right now and Gene needs prayers for God to do His will in Gene's life.
It's a good thing I didn't know how hard it would be to live with this bag. I have already made another ER trip to the hospital - this time over blurred vision and my bladder. I cried at ER because I was feeling weak and sorry for myself. So far since surgery, I have made two trips to ER and one unexpected trip to see the Ostomy nurse and it's only been two weeks since my surgery. The bag leaks and is so disgusting and I have to be so careful to get it on just right. Praise the Lord the bag I put on yesterday afternoon is still going strong. Found out today that I am low on sodium and have no bladder infection. I drank about a quart of gatorade and have most of my strength back. The only pain I really have is my bladder and my back. I am eating a little bit better which also brings back my strength. I have probably lost 10 pounds since surgery. However, I am alive and comfy in my own home and I am definitely on the road to recovery.
God never leaves us through the trials and storms in our lives. I have felt His presence with me and felt it again while I was sitting on a guerney in a hospital gown this afternoon. I may not have the strength to get through this, but God supplies it for me. I know I am so blessed to have found these polyps before they turned cancerous. I know God led me in His own mysterious way to get a colonoscopy which I swore I never would have and certainly didn't need. He has more in store for me and I am His. It's been a hard year for my husband and myself, but God has seen us through the hardships. He has already seen us through trials this year and everything turned out o.k. I lean hard on the Lord and trust Him with my life for He has told me, "Be not afraid...just believe".
Just got an update on Susan's husband Gene. It's not good. He may not make it until tomorrow morning. Please pray for both Susan and Gene. Susan needs God's love and strength right now and Gene needs prayers for God to do His will in Gene's life.
It's a good thing I didn't know how hard it would be to live with this bag. I have already made another ER trip to the hospital - this time over blurred vision and my bladder. I cried at ER because I was feeling weak and sorry for myself. So far since surgery, I have made two trips to ER and one unexpected trip to see the Ostomy nurse and it's only been two weeks since my surgery. The bag leaks and is so disgusting and I have to be so careful to get it on just right. Praise the Lord the bag I put on yesterday afternoon is still going strong. Found out today that I am low on sodium and have no bladder infection. I drank about a quart of gatorade and have most of my strength back. The only pain I really have is my bladder and my back. I am eating a little bit better which also brings back my strength. I have probably lost 10 pounds since surgery. However, I am alive and comfy in my own home and I am definitely on the road to recovery.
God never leaves us through the trials and storms in our lives. I have felt His presence with me and felt it again while I was sitting on a guerney in a hospital gown this afternoon. I may not have the strength to get through this, but God supplies it for me. I know I am so blessed to have found these polyps before they turned cancerous. I know God led me in His own mysterious way to get a colonoscopy which I swore I never would have and certainly didn't need. He has more in store for me and I am His. It's been a hard year for my husband and myself, but God has seen us through the hardships. He has already seen us through trials this year and everything turned out o.k. I lean hard on the Lord and trust Him with my life for He has told me, "Be not afraid...just believe".
Monday, September 6, 2010
My progress
From Sandy -
First of all, will everyone on this blog please pray for Susan and Gene. I heard that Gene is not doing as well as expected. Susan needs our prays that God will give her peace and strength as she faces each new day of Gene's illness. Gene needs our prayers to ask the Lord to be with him and comfort him in this time of his life.
Well - I still feel good but I'm very very tired. I had the night from HE-- last night and didn't fall asleep until 5:00 a.m. Had to make an emergency run to the hospital. There is a tear in my stoma (the small intestine that comes out of the abdomen) and the bag I was wearing filled up with alot of blood. This really scared me and I knew there was nothing left to do but to go to ER, which is exactly what my husband and I did. I also have a bladder infection and it has made me so uncomfortable. I know that nothing runs perfect in life and ups and downs are bound to come with this surgery. After getting home from the hospital at 2 a.m., I was awake most of the night replacing my bag - each one would start leaking and it was not a pretty sight. I wanted so badly to just call someone at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, but of course I knew that would not be a good thing to do. Then, I realized that I am never alone and I called upon the Lord to help me get through the night. I fell asleep around 5:00 and slept until 11:00 a.m. I did get some sleep. I realized through all of this that even when I feel like I am alone - I am not. The Lord is always with me to give me faith, strength, hope and tomorrow morning.
I'm going to have to see the ostomy nurse tomorrow and see what can be done for my stoma. It is such a task to take care of my new body - not pleasant. I have gotten into self pity and that's totally the wrong thing to do. Again, I have to turn to the Lord and ask for His guidance in all of this. I know that all of us our His children and although I don't work now quite the way He made me, He loves me none the less for it. I think self-pity can really be a sin. It takes away all the blessings and covers your world in a gloomy cloud. My daughter was able to bring me out of the self-pity tonight. She said to think about people who have handicaps much worse than mine. I'm not really counting mine as a handicap. I am still blessed and being blessed by the Lord and will conquer the self-pity as well as "leaky" bags and "torn" stomas. I do have to work on my self-image right now, but the Lord will help me with that too.
I hope that this finds all of you well. Again, please pray for Susan and Gene.
First of all, will everyone on this blog please pray for Susan and Gene. I heard that Gene is not doing as well as expected. Susan needs our prays that God will give her peace and strength as she faces each new day of Gene's illness. Gene needs our prayers to ask the Lord to be with him and comfort him in this time of his life.
Well - I still feel good but I'm very very tired. I had the night from HE-- last night and didn't fall asleep until 5:00 a.m. Had to make an emergency run to the hospital. There is a tear in my stoma (the small intestine that comes out of the abdomen) and the bag I was wearing filled up with alot of blood. This really scared me and I knew there was nothing left to do but to go to ER, which is exactly what my husband and I did. I also have a bladder infection and it has made me so uncomfortable. I know that nothing runs perfect in life and ups and downs are bound to come with this surgery. After getting home from the hospital at 2 a.m., I was awake most of the night replacing my bag - each one would start leaking and it was not a pretty sight. I wanted so badly to just call someone at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, but of course I knew that would not be a good thing to do. Then, I realized that I am never alone and I called upon the Lord to help me get through the night. I fell asleep around 5:00 and slept until 11:00 a.m. I did get some sleep. I realized through all of this that even when I feel like I am alone - I am not. The Lord is always with me to give me faith, strength, hope and tomorrow morning.
I'm going to have to see the ostomy nurse tomorrow and see what can be done for my stoma. It is such a task to take care of my new body - not pleasant. I have gotten into self pity and that's totally the wrong thing to do. Again, I have to turn to the Lord and ask for His guidance in all of this. I know that all of us our His children and although I don't work now quite the way He made me, He loves me none the less for it. I think self-pity can really be a sin. It takes away all the blessings and covers your world in a gloomy cloud. My daughter was able to bring me out of the self-pity tonight. She said to think about people who have handicaps much worse than mine. I'm not really counting mine as a handicap. I am still blessed and being blessed by the Lord and will conquer the self-pity as well as "leaky" bags and "torn" stomas. I do have to work on my self-image right now, but the Lord will help me with that too.
I hope that this finds all of you well. Again, please pray for Susan and Gene.
Friday, September 3, 2010
I'm Back
From Sandy -
I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I know that the Lord honored each and every one of them. I went into the hospital Friday for surgery. I was wheeled into my room at midnight - My room was private which was wonderful and worth the wait. The nurses were great too. My doctor came to see me every day and was pleasantly surprised at how fast I was recovering. I was never nauseous from the anesthesia and was up and walking on Saturday - although not very far. I do have to tell you that sometimes the pain would grab me and I would almost faint, but it would come and go so quickly that it was tolerable. If I wasn't moving, there was no pain. The pain killers that were given to me worked very well. Getting up and down was painful, but I was able to walk alot in the hospital and eventually was able to take care of myself. The hospital food was horrible and my appetite still has not come back, but I can't complain. My surgeon sent me home on Wednesday because I was doing so well. He had very good news for me that the biopsy they took of everything showed no cancer. Thank the Good Lord. So, here I sit composing this post.
Although I think of the past few months as a nightmare, I know that the Lord was with me every step of the way. He provided me with just enough to get me through the day and I know Him and love Him much more today than yesterday. I can't believe how quickly the days have gone by since my surgery. It has been one week already and the worst is over. I do have to go back for a second surgery to connect a pouch that was formed out of my intestines. This won't be until the pouch and my body heal from this surgery.
I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be here at home on the mend. One of my friends gave me a postcard that was a picture of someone in surgery and Jesus is guiding the surgeon's hand. This picture went with me into surgery and was kept with my chart. I get emotional just thinking of how the Lord had His hand in everything that concerned me and still does. One bit of scripture that kept me going was "Be not afraid -- Just believe". I feel as if I've been through a fiery furnace, but Jesus never left my side.
I want to thank everyone for their prayers. I know that the Lord honored each and every one of them. I went into the hospital Friday for surgery. I was wheeled into my room at midnight - My room was private which was wonderful and worth the wait. The nurses were great too. My doctor came to see me every day and was pleasantly surprised at how fast I was recovering. I was never nauseous from the anesthesia and was up and walking on Saturday - although not very far. I do have to tell you that sometimes the pain would grab me and I would almost faint, but it would come and go so quickly that it was tolerable. If I wasn't moving, there was no pain. The pain killers that were given to me worked very well. Getting up and down was painful, but I was able to walk alot in the hospital and eventually was able to take care of myself. The hospital food was horrible and my appetite still has not come back, but I can't complain. My surgeon sent me home on Wednesday because I was doing so well. He had very good news for me that the biopsy they took of everything showed no cancer. Thank the Good Lord. So, here I sit composing this post.
Although I think of the past few months as a nightmare, I know that the Lord was with me every step of the way. He provided me with just enough to get me through the day and I know Him and love Him much more today than yesterday. I can't believe how quickly the days have gone by since my surgery. It has been one week already and the worst is over. I do have to go back for a second surgery to connect a pouch that was formed out of my intestines. This won't be until the pouch and my body heal from this surgery.
I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to be here at home on the mend. One of my friends gave me a postcard that was a picture of someone in surgery and Jesus is guiding the surgeon's hand. This picture went with me into surgery and was kept with my chart. I get emotional just thinking of how the Lord had His hand in everything that concerned me and still does. One bit of scripture that kept me going was "Be not afraid -- Just believe". I feel as if I've been through a fiery furnace, but Jesus never left my side.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Sandy Update
I talked to Sandra's sister. Her surgery was five hours long. The surgery was successful. She is doing well.
Thank you Jesus!
Please continue to pray for Gene. He is doing better in being weaned off of the ventillator. I know the Lord is hearing your prayers for Gene and for Sandra's continued recovery.
Miriam had a successful hip surgery and is beginning her physical therapy.
Bonnie still needs our prayers for healing of the tumor.
I hope to get back to blogging again, when Gene is better and back home. I'm still trying to be with him each day, so he doesn't feel alone. Though we have had our problems, when your spouse is in such pain and suffering you really realize how much you love them.
Thank you so much for your prayers, Susan
Thank you Jesus!
Please continue to pray for Gene. He is doing better in being weaned off of the ventillator. I know the Lord is hearing your prayers for Gene and for Sandra's continued recovery.
Miriam had a successful hip surgery and is beginning her physical therapy.
Bonnie still needs our prayers for healing of the tumor.
I hope to get back to blogging again, when Gene is better and back home. I'm still trying to be with him each day, so he doesn't feel alone. Though we have had our problems, when your spouse is in such pain and suffering you really realize how much you love them.
Thank you so much for your prayers, Susan
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